Chemistry Of Lust

CHAPTER 22

We stand like that for few moments before I pull back and smile up at him. I sit down and continue to eat my pizza. Derek does the same after starting another song. We both eat in silent but it is not awkward, it has never been. We can sit in silence for hours and none of us would feel pressurized to fill in the silence and I absolutely love that. That's how friendships are supposed to be and I am glad ours is.

"I am gonna go sleep now." I tell Derek as I place our dishes into the dishwasher.

 "Alright. First, I am gonna go for a jog then I will come back and probably sleep too." He says. I nod and wave a bye to him and head upstairs. I enter in my room and take off my sweat pants and jump onto the bed in my T-shirt and my underwear. And soon, I am out and the last thing I remember is thinking about Edward.

"Candy? Wake up. He's here," Derek lightly says as he nudges me. I let out a frustrated groan.

 "Baby?" I open my eyes to see Edward. "Are you alright?" He asks as he sits beside me on my bed.

 "Yes, I will come down in a minute." I say and sit up on the bed. Derek cups my face and gently touches my bandage.

 "Do we need to change this?" Edward fakes a cough out of jealousy. I internally smile at this.

"No, it's fine," I say and stand up. "Now come on. Edward and I need to study." I say and walk to Edward. He puts his hand in mine and we walk like that till we are down in the living room. I smile up at him and he returns that smile. 

"You know that I am jealous of Derek, right?" He asks as we sit on the couch.

"Yes, I know." I say as I bite the inside of my mouth, which I do when I am nervous. It's not because of what Edward is saying, I am worried about my studies, my parents and Edward and Amelia. "But you have nothing to worry about, Edward." I reassure him as I take his hand in mine.

"I know. Now, get me a step closer to a good grade." He says and places a kiss on my hand. I giggle at his gesture and nod.

 "Sure. We will start a new chapter today."

*EDWARD'S POV*

"Can we stop now? I can't fit more things in my brain, right now." I say as Charlotte goes on and on about covalent bond.

 She laughs at me as she stops, "Alright. We have done enough anyways." Thank goodness because I am done for today.

Before I can say anything I notice Charlotte's thinking about something very serious, I think. I poke her on her arm, "What're you thinking about? Don't say nothing because I know it is something." She looks at me in a way that makes me realize that I am in trouble for sure.

She fiddles with the neck piece I gave her as she asks, "What are we Edward?" The question I am most afraid of but usually I would just say 'It's casual. Nothing serious', but I don't know  why but this time I can't get myself to say so.

The reason is obviously Charlotte. She is doing something to me. Every time I see her, I feel like I have seen the whole world. I feel good weird when I talk to her. She makes me so much better, without even realizing it. I look at her and I know she is waiting for an answer, which I don't have.

I mean I don't just want casual sex with her, I want something more just like her but I don't know if I can do relationships.

"Look Edward. I am looking for something serious and I am starting to expect that from you. And I don't want to have expectations which won't be fulfilled. So tell me what are we exactly?" She says as she emphasizes her words.

"I don't know Charlotte. Unlike usual, I also want something real because you're different, good different. You make me feel things I have never felt before. I get nervous, excited to meet you every time around. I get scared for you." I tell her every bit of truth.

"But?" She asks me with curiosity.

 "But I am afraid of commitment. I don't know if I can make relationships work. I have faith in me to somehow mess it all up. I know that I will somehow hurt people. That is why I have never tried anything serious with any girl because of the fact that I have never felt the need to have more before you." That's one thing I have never confessed to anyone else before, not even Cassie.

Charlotte takes my hand in both of hers and tightly holds it. I enclose my other hand over hers. I can't look up at her to meet her eyes as I feel ashamed. "Edward", she says in a low voice and continues, "....If we trust each other and believe in what we have, we can do it. You just need to stop letting your fear take over you. Fear is just another reason to try harder."

"You think that by not trying something serious, you prevent the people from being hurt but in actuality you hurt them even more by not even giving it a try. The other might start to think they're not worthy of your love or anyone else's."

I consider what she said and I think she is right. I can do it. I kiss her hand once again before answering, "You're right. I am ready to give it a try but I just need you to help me be a better person." 

She sighs before replying, "You're already perfect to me Edward." Fuck, I might fall for her.

I kiss her and she kisses me back hungrily. I try to deepen the kiss but she pulls apart, out of breath.  "Don't you have question to ask me?"

 She asks and I decide to tease her, "I don't think so." I say and she frowns and I can't keep a straight face anymore. I laugh at her and she starts hitting me furiously.

I hold both of her hands and push against her lightly and lie on top of her. She laughs as I kiss her on the neck. "Edward." She continues to giggle and I pin her hands on the armrest of the couch. I gather all the courage I have in me to ask her the question. "Will you be my girlfriend, Charlotte and make me the horniest guy?" She laughs.

"Yes Edward. I will be your girlfriend." She smiles and it is contagious as I start smiling like an idiot too. She kisses me and we don't stop for what feels like a couple of minutes. Everything seems to stop as we kiss. This kiss of ours is not like all the others. It is different as we have something new now, something real.

"By the way, did you like the way I made you come today?" I ask and she shyly smiles and nods, "Way too much." My chest swells with proud as I hear her. 

"So proud of myself." We both look at each other and smile like there's no world outside.

Suddenly, some footsteps interrupt us. We both pull apart and see Derek walking down. "For the thousandth time, you guys are so gross." He says as he walks to the kitchen. I get up from over Charlotte and sit on the couch. Charlotte sits back up too.

"We're about to get a lot more gross. We're officially a couple." Charlotte says practically jumping on her feet. I smile at the child in her.

 Derek blows out a breath, "Oh no. I want to go back to London. Not really but right now I need to." Charlotte and I both burst out laughing. This will be a start of something new and better in my life.