ace ventura x reader (hot)

chapter 4

"first things first," ace began, grabbing your attention. "i need to analyze your apartment." you stepped back, shaking your head.

"uh-uh. no can do, mister. i spent too much money on all this to just have it be ruined by you," you growled. ace rolled his eyes, placing his hands on his hips.

"c'mon darlin', that won't be the only thing of yours getting ruined by me. ALLLLL-righty then," he smirked. you started choking on your own saliva that instant.

"you asshole, just do your job already!" you seethed. ace let out a mocking laugh before his face went serious again.

he was a man on a mission, searching every (permitted) nook and cranny of your small apartment. he went into the bathroom to 'dust a few surfaces for fingerprints' before returning to you, his body and clothes covered in the chalky substance.

"i uh, don't think the perpetrator left any prints," he concluded. upon seeing your now pure-white bathroom, you sighed.

"yeah, no shit. what brought you to that conclusion?" you asked sarcastically. he put a hand over his heart, feigning injury.

"you wound me, y/n! but alas, i'm here to help."

you rolled your eyes at his dramatics. "back to work," you grumbled. "i don't have all night, you know." as if on cue, you yawned.

"well i guess i'm pulling an all-nighter, then," he suggested. you shook your head.

"nope. no way in hell am i letting you peruse my apartment while i sleep, unknowing of what you could be doing," you hissed. ace cocked his head at you.

"listen, y/n, i take this very, very seriously. this is my job, my career, my PASSION!" he enunciated, sticking his pointer finger in the air and standing up straight. he started to fake cry, putting his hands over his heart. "the least you could do..." he pretends to sniffle and hiccup, "...is show a little compassion," he 'sobbed'.

"fine, fine! jesus! but if you disturb my sleep at all, i'll have your ass handed to you," you growled. you were confused as ace turned around, leaned over, and began... what the fuck?

"no need to lay a hand on me for that, when i could ass you to do it in bed!" his... 'ass' spoke. you were so disturbed.

"what the fuck are you doing, get up," you groaned, ripping him up by his arm.

"hey, hey! that's fine leather, i'll have you know!" he exclaimed, imitating some sort of posh accent. you were too tired to amuse his antics at this point.

"just do what you have to do," you sneered, before going to your bed and lying down.

ace really did try his best to be quiet, but the man's presence in your apartment didn't soothe you.

after tossing and turning for an hour, you finally fell asleep.

you got four hours of sleep before hearing a crash in the kitchen area of your apartment. rubbing your eyes and groaning, you got up.

you made your way into the kitchen, seeing ace standing there suspiciously, standing in front of something with his legs and arms crossed.

"oh, hey, y/n, it's been a while! how you doin'?!" he asked, mimicking the voice of a female friend who hadn't seen you for two years. you rolled your eyes and made your way closer to him.

"ah, i uh, wouldn't do that! if... i were you," he gasped in exasperation, his words getting more and more strangled as though he was running out of breath.

"move, ace," you demanded, pushing past him to see the taxidermy cat on the floor, the head broken off and... something... spilling out from its 'body'.