Sang e Khisht

باب سولواں

عورت بھی کب تک ظلم برداشت کرے؟
Until when must a woman put up with injustice?
٭

Chapter 16 : Pehla din aur shaid akhri

Just like yesterday, Golnar found herself seated on the dining table, like a prisoner awaiting her sentence. The scrutinising gazes sized her, and the plain outfit she wore. Only the heavily embellished veil reminder of the fact that she was a new bride. Three days and her henna had already began to die against her skin. Leaving behind only tiny scars and stubs of the dots. His name, burned out of her hands at the expense of the many soaps she had been using to get it out.

Last night had been a repeat of the night before. He had wordlessly slipped into his place and she to hers. She was nothing to him, but to her, he was a relationship solely hers. Though her heart was bruised time and again at the way he coldly rejected her, Golnar wanted to make him hers. No matter what had been the reason behind their nuptial. Yet — for now and maybe forever — it would be a one sided struggle.

Her untapped chain of thoughts broke as her mother-in-law, bari bibi, cleared her throat. The tone of her heavy voice drawling into the arctic air of the dinning room.

"Bahu nashta ho jaye tou kamray mein ajaye ga. Kuch kaam hai aap sai."
[Daughter-in-law after you're done with breakfast come to my room. I have something I need to talk to you about.]

After the ordeal had slipped in between the conversation of the rest of the people in attendance, her mother-in-law whispered to her. Pinching her elbow for attention before offering her a wide smile. Narrowing the hawk like gaze towards the heavy spread of breakfast. Tearing into another piece of warm bread as she kept her eyes on Golnar.

"Ji bari bibi."
[Okay elder madam.]

Swallowing her pride — it's size that of a humming bird's — Golnar nodded. Blinking her eyes softly in her direction, peeking from behind her kohl lined eyes. The tears that gathered in the crook of her ducts, burned her nostrils with the strength of a fire that could burn all the ice inside the world. Then as if the embarrassment sunk into her, she flew her gaze on to her fingers. Dipping the cold piece of bread into the curry. Despite the flavour, it felt nothing short of a splinter struck into the side of her throat.

Taking a sip of the water, swallowing the tiny morsel slower than ever, the discomfort sunk on to her shoulders. It battled with the agonising anxiety she had fought with for years on end, reminding her of something. A feeling she had been used to for weeks, and years at no end. It had been the darkest moment of her life and what should have been the most blissful of them, pushed her into the crux of the fire again. Baking her once more. It's rising embers that perfumed the air with a charring glance, threw her into a vortex. Pulling her under water.

Biting into a peppercorn, it's bitter flavour filled her mouth in an instant. Like the poison that was just about reeking itself into her mostly peaceful life, it burnt that side of her tongue. Tearing a piece of her oil sodden bread, she placed into her mouth. Chewing, hiding the frown that just about kissed her nose. Squeezing her lips she bit the inside of her cheek, sinking her molars into the flesh until the pain of her soul paled in comparison.

"Darab tu aj manshi saab nu mil ain." Bari bibi cleared her throat, narrowing her eyes at him.
[Darab you go and meet the accountant today.]