The lines between his act and his true self blurred. He didn't even know who he was anymore. People described him as intelligent, confident, competitive, determined and sometimes maybe even ruthless. They said he had no sympathy. But that wasn't him, was it? He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was worried he was like that.
On the other hand, he didn't feel like that hopeful, timid, playful, happy and gentle boy he used to be. He felt empty. He felt like Play-Doh. At this point, they could shape him as they wanted, and he wouldn't resist. He didn't feel like there was any point in resisting.
But the girl was determined. She was ready for some struggles, but the young Briton kicked around him as he could. He was pushing her away. It was his coping mechanism. Sometimes his words were subtle, but more often they were harsh. His actions were almost always negatively profound.
She knew he did that because it was easier, simpler. She understood it, but it didn't mean she was not hurt by it. It was hard for Lando because he didn't want to hurt her. Ever. He was pushing her away because he was afraid of hurting her. He felt trapped. He was running in circles.
The McLaren driver remembered their last argument that led to their breakup. It was coming back to him so often. Tears in her eyes, broken porcelain on the floor and two shattered hearts.
They were at his house in Woking. He was having a few days off between the races. She was taking out the dishes from the dishwasher as her boyfriend sat on the kitchen island. She bit her lip before she dared to speak up.
"Lando?" She tried to grip her boyfriend's attention, but he just kept holding his phone in his hand. He didn't even look at her.
"Lando? Can you at least look at me when I'm talking to you?" She spoke up once again. She was clearly annoyed. Nothing seemed to be alright these days. Lando barely spoke to her, and when he did - his words were hurtful. He was colder than usual, and she just didn't understand why.
"Jesus. I'm working. I need to figure something out with Charlotte." He was so passive-aggressive. Once again, he was showing his high walls.
She did not mind when he was working, but she was convinced he was lying about working. Charlotte rarely texted him in the evenings. In her head, he was just trying to distance himself from her again. Little did she know the young McLaren driver was reading all those hateful comments people said about him. He couldn't understand it because he was doing what everyone wanted. He was saying what everyone wanted. Why wasn't it enough?
He wasn't showing his weaknesses. He spoke about himself confidently. Yeah, maybe occasionally, his comments were too harsh or rude, but he was just so fed up with it all. Before, it was a little boy peeking out behind his tough mask. Nowadays, it was an unhappy and broken man who peeked out more and more often. But it was easier to let people believe that he was just an asshole instead of admitting that he needed help. In Formula One, asking for help was weak, and he didn't want to be seen as the weak one.
"Sorry," she apologised. She felt like she couldn't get anything right. Everything she said was wrong. "It's just... What is going on? What's wrong?" She dared to ask him.
"Nothing. Just leave me alone." She could feel the coldness in his words. She hated when he was pushing her away.
"God damn it, Lando."
"What? What is your problem this time?" He lashed out. It wasn't anything unusual. There it was - the anger in his words. He was just saying them to hurt her.
"My problem? Are you even serious?" She angrily said. She hoped after this, Lando would look at her. He would notice her tears streaming down her cheeks and hug her tightly, but that didn't happen.
crushing expectations - Lando Norris.
Start from the beginning
