It was 3:42 am when your phone started ringing. You immediately despise a person on the other side of the phone. You try to ignore it, but when it starts again, you grab the phone from the nightstand and pick up the call without even thinking about it.
"Hello?" You greet the caller. You want to keep your eyes open, but you fail just after a few seconds. You're too tired for this challenge. There's a long silence before the caller answers, so you still don't know with who you're speaking.
"Hey, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from. God, I know we broke up. I'm pathetic... but I, I just miss you." Now, you exactly know who is calling you. Charles. A sob leaves his throat at the end, and then there's silence. Only the wind rustles through the speaker of his phone. So, you recognise that he's outside. Wandering through streets at 3:46 am.
"Charles, where are you?" You ask him worriedly.
"I know, I'm stupid, but I just can't stop thinking that you're with somebody, and I'm not." His voice is full of desperation and agony. Then there's silence, again. He doesn't seem to be bothered by your question at all. All you hear is inhale and exhale. Actually, a couple more of them. The pattern of Charles' breathing made you somehow calm.
"I mean, I'm down to see you happy, but I don't want to see you happy without me," he says when you're silent as well. It has been some time since you two broke up, but Charles isn't over it. Well, you're not over it as well, but you weren't the one who messed it up.
"I'm being selfish, and I've got no right, but I can't help thinking about you tonight. I don't wanna say it because I know it's bad, but I don't want somebody having what we had." His voice breaks. "Please, break up with him. I can't bear to see you like that." At first, you didn't know what he was talking about, but then it hit you. He was talking about you and Lando. Little did he know, he misinterpreted the whole situation. Lando has been helping you to get over Charles. You two have been just friends and nothing more.
"Charles, listen to me," you try to get his attention, but you can still hear that he's mumbling things for himself. "Lost boy, shut your pretty little mouth, please." This nickname finally seems to bring him back to reality. You used to call him lost boy from time to time because he was so often lost in his thoughts. "Take a deep breath, okay?" You ask him, and he really inhales deeply. "Where are you, my love?" Another question leaves your mouth.
"Somewhere near Jimmy'z," he finally answers your question. His reply didn't surprise you a lot. Of course, he was at Jimmy'z. Getting wasted seems to be his new hobby over the winter break. You can't even count how many drunk calls you received from him.
"Okay. Do you think you can make it home safely?" You realise that you never stopped caring. You'd always take care of him because you love him too much.
"No, I can't. I can't. Please, come for me. I need you. I need you back in my life. Please," he is begging you desperately. You never thought that he would miss you that much. You assumed that he didn't love you anymore, that's why you left. He wasn't showing any affection towards you, but he realised it after you left him. He wished he'd say things to comfort you, reassure you that you're still loved. Loved by him. But it was too late for that.
"Do you know what my favourite memory with you is? It's the one when we went for a drive on the east coast at 2:30 in the morning. I had the summer break from racing, so we decided to do something stupid. Drive for hours, listening to our favourites songs and singing along. We were smiling, laughing, chuckling. I swear to God, I loved you like that the most. In baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt without makeup. Well, I still love you like that the most... I love that with you I'm just Charles. I love that you sometimes take control because I'm tired of it all. I love I can be myself with you. Anyway, we ended up at Genoa. That night you said that you love me. It wasn't for the first time I heard those words from you, but it was the first time I genuinely felt them. I felt loved... I was loved by you." You can hear the sadness seeping through his voice. It cuts right through you. You feel tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Why couldn't we last? Why didn't we make it? We were so happy."He sniffs. Your heart breaks at the sound of him crying. It's not the first time you've heard him cry, but this time it hurts the most.
"I'm just so lonely and... and I'm not sure I can bear it anymore. I'm trying but failing hard." He says it as if he's fully aware of how big of a failure he is when he isn't one. Those words cause panic within you. Your heart starts to beat faster and faster. It is like you aren't able to breathe. It almost feels like you're drowning.
"No, no, no. You're not alone, lost boy. I'm always with you. You know what? I'm coming for you. I'm coming for my boy." Maybe it won't work out, but you want to give your relationship a second chance. You and Charles deserve a second chance. You are sure of that.
♥︎daily reminder♥︎
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