Tripping and falling... in love

23- blindfolded cupid

Vani was embarrassed. She had caught Joe making out in the library with some random girl who apparently wasn't too good with names. But it wasn't her place to be mad or upset or jealous. Since SHE had been the one to put a break on things between them.

She walked through the courtyard with her coat in her arms. The spring day had warmed up considerably and she no longer needed to wear it.

Her thoughts forced her to recount her encounter with Joe and the last time they had spent any time together and their last sexual encounter. She was fully in rage mode.

She hated to admit that she was jealous, but the idea of Joe with the random library wench made her blood boil.

"He is MY boyfriend. Just because we are going through a rough patch doesn't mean that she can just take advantage like that! What the fuck is he thinking? He should know better!..." She muttered to herself finally being honest about her feelings.

"He should have known from the begining that he was just to scary to commit to. I mean RC was great and fun, but he wasn't JOE! He was the buffer the thing that kept Joe at a she distance! I couldn't get too close to Joe if RC was in the picture! He should have KNOWN that!" She marched along talking to herself not giving a thought in the world to what people might think.

The weather had finally turned so students and faculty alike were out enjoying the weather. Vani marched through them all talking to herself like a person in a movie.

"Why didn't he fight for me though? Like I asked for some space, but like, he never tried again. Is that what passes for respectful these days? What happened to fighting for your love? What happened to never giving up? He wasn't supposed to disappear!"

Vani turned away from the front entrance of her dorm and followed the walking trail that would take her along the back of the buildings.

"But what if he was RELIEVED that I put us on a break? What if he didn't know how to break up with me, so he was HAPPY to get away? What if he found someone else, or worse A LOT of someone elses (is that a word? Is that proper grammar... someone elses, elseses? Someone elsesi?)" Vani was slowly devolving.

"How could he not know? But if he didn't know, or didn't want me back, maybe he is happy to 'library' with other girls. Heck, maybe he has been library-ing all over the place!"

Vani went to sit on a fallen log only to discover that it was very cold, very wet and more than a little slimy.

"Gross! Ugh. I am the worst." She slapped her legs and tried to wipe the dark tree slime marks off her jeans while heading back towards her dorm.

***

"I totally blew it!
I guess I even knew it.
I am so incredibly dumb,
Why wouldn't he get himself some?
I did a giant stupid
I blindfolded cupid
I lost my buiscuit-Joe
To the flashy library Hoe!"

Vani sang taking sips from the bottle in her hand between verses of her song.

Vani sat on the floor of a house filled with students celebrating the last day of classes before reading week. Many were going home or on holidays. Vani was supposed to join her family for a holiday somewhere warm but she declined.

Briar insisted that they go on a road trip with Landry and his friend to some place warm. Vani had protested but then thought about how she would rather be with them drinking away her pain then to be stuck somewhere dry sober having to face the unfortunate truth she had finally realized.

She would have chosen Joe.

"Hey Chicka, how are you holdin' up?" Briar asked only half as bombed as her room mate.