Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 11, Part 1)

114 How the Memories Are Regained

Jing He resolved to ask the two advisers that had still been left behind by Qiu Ling yesterday even though the danger seemed to be gone. He would have preferred speaking to An Bai but he wasn't sure how to reach him at the moment. With everything going on at this time, he wasn't sure if he should either. An Bai might be incredibly busy at the moment.

Unfortunately, it seemed that fate didn't want to let him resolve the knot in his heart: In the early morning hours, some discordant images pushed into his mind like a nightmare.

He was walking down a street that he had never seen before but his subconscious told him that this was the capital city of the dragon realm. He listened for sounds from the distance, only to hear what should be a battle. There was the clanging of weapons, the roaring of the flames and wind, a downpour of water, and loud voices yelling commands. He could smell the smoke in the air, very much like the day he remembered his mortal death.

Fear gripped his heart outside the nightmare but inside of it, there was only a sense of purpose in his heart. He hurried on, wanting to get to a building that he remembered only for a man to appear when he turned a corner.

Jing He had originally been afraid. Seeing this person in the distance, a foreboding feeling hit him. He knew he should turn around and run. He definitely couldn't go toward that person. He just instinctively knew that something was wrong with him even though no specific clue could be gleaned from his appearance.

Unfortunately, the him in the nightmare didn't have his insight. He walked up to the man and talked to him, not realizing that something was wrong. Jing He tried to warn himself inside the dream so he'd turn around and run but he couldn't move this body and couldn't speak either. He could only silently beg him to flee but it was as if he couldn't hear his own voice even in his dream. Then, it was too late. The next moment, the man grabbed him and they vanished from the spot. What followed what the lead-up to the memory he had received just the day before.

Jing He awoke with a start and shot up from the bed, only to find himself in Qiu Ling's arms. He stared at him with wide eyes, his breath ragged. Just like in his dream, he felt as if he couldn't say a word.

"It's alright. You're safe." Qiu Ling pulled him further into his arms, one hand rubbing his back while the other encircled his neck. "Just take a few moments to calm down."

Jing He reached out, allowing himself to cling to Qiu Ling's shoulders while he nodded. He felt shaken from what he had remembered just now. Qiu Ling's presence indeed gave him back some semblance of safety even though he realized that he hadn't actually been in danger just now. They were just memories. What he had seen had already passed a week ago. He didn't need to worry.

Still, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths until his heart wasn't beating as rapidly anymore and some color returned to his face. Only then did he pull back slightly and look up at Qiu Ling's face. "I didn't notice you had come."

Qiu Ling reached up and brushed back his hair, his lips curling up into a relieved smile. "I went to see my family, dealt with some urgent issues, and rested for a while. In the end, I couldn't bring myself to stay away any longer. It's been so long since we were able to spend time together, just those few hours yesterday weren't nearly enough to make up for my longing."

Jing He's cheeks flushed slightly and he lowered his head, feeling self-conscious. Behind Qiu Ling's figure, he could see the door to the garden that had been left open. From the looks of it, the sun had hardly gone up. At such a time, Qiu Ling would already return to him. Of course, this made him feel a certain way.

Qiu Ling leaned closer and kissed his cheek before leaning back, his expression turning solemn. "Just when I came, I heard a sound from outside so I went in to check. I hope you don't think I'm presumptuous. Actually, Mu Kun also came to see what was going on. He said it was likely due to your memories returning so I didn't dare wake you up." He still knew too little about the trials. Even though he had learned more, it was far from enough. But since Mu Kun hadn't said either way, he figured just holding him and calming him down afterward would be better.

Jing He nodded. "That was it. I ... I remembered those moments that led up to my death during the trial." His fingers curled around the fabric of Qiu Ling's robe, likely alerting him that he was still hugging him closely but Jing he didn't want to think about it. Anyway, he had an excuse right now. "I don't know if you're aware but our memories can return in a few ways."

Qiu Ling shook his head. "I don't but I'd be happy to listen if you were willing to explain."

Jing He nodded, trying to think of a good way to put it. Yesterday, he hadn't thought about it too much but since Qiu Ling had been willing to tell him so much, he should reciprocate. Not to mention that much of this trial would contain memories of a life he had lived with Qiu Ling. This was good to share.

He slightly loosened his hold but kept his hands on Qiu Ling's back. He was only a step away from leaning forward and truly lying in his arms. Finally, he started from the point that seemed the easiest to explain: "The time when our memories reappear, that can be in a dream like it happened just now or while we are awake. Although the latter might make us fall unconscious like it happened yesterday because our mind isn't able to process them otherwise. Especially while regaining the first few memories, this is very likely to happen."