Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 11, Part 1)

108 No Betterment in Sight

Qiu Ling naturally wouldn't say no to this. He knew from first-hand experience how it was to grow up without relatives and basically raise yourself. He didn't know if it would be easier for a full-blooded dragon child and especially one who lived in the capital city of their realm but he'd rather not even try to find out.

He silently took the documents Xiang Yong had prepared and nodded. "I'll first go and check on Leng Jin Yu and Jinde. After that, I'll look through these and get back to you tomorrow."

Xiang Yong nodded. "Very well."

Qiu Ling put the documents into his spatial ring and got to his feet but hesitated before turning to the door. "You ... wouldn't happen to know how Jinde is doing right now?"

Xiang Yong could only shake his head. "I last saw him the day we send off demon king Jin Ling. After that, I'm afraid he hasn't left his room even once."

Qiu Ling nodded, feeling even more worried now. He hadn't expected that Jinde would have gotten over it easily. After all, he also knew him well. Jinde loved children and he should have been close to Jin Ling originally. Even if things had gone downhill, the love he held for his own child shouldn't have lessened. To now think that this child was dead ... it had to have cut deeply.

He sighed and finally just nodded at Xiang Yong before leaving his study. No matter what, it was best to go and see for himself. He went to the door of the room where Leng Jin Yu and Jinde were staying and finally knocked after hesitating for another moment.

Steps sounded from inside and the door was opened right after, exposing Leng Jin Yu's tired expression.

Qiu Ling raised his brows. "I guess I don't need to ask how the two of you are doing anymore?"

Leng Jin Yu looked at him, closed his eyes, and sighed. He stepped to the side when he opened his eyes again and finally smiled. "You're back. I assume that means you are doing better?"

Qiu Ling nodded and stepped inside, his gaze brushing over the room to find Jinde. He immediately spotted him with his back to them, quietly lying in bed. Qiu Ling's brows furrowed and he turned to Leng Jin Yu. "I'll tell you about everything later. Be honest though: How is he?"

Leng Jin Yu looked over to the bed himself, his expression pained. "Let's go to the courtyard."

Qiu Ling nodded and quietly followed him outside. Seeing Xiang Yu squatting next to the shell half-submerged in the pond, he smiled, but his lips immediately pulled back into a straight line when he saw the jade coffin a few steps behind him.

Xiang Yong had told him but simply hearing about it and seeing it for himself was still different. He didn't know how to describe his feelings at this moment. It was ... heavy but also as if there was nothing left.

He quietly walked over, putting his hand on the lid while his brows furrowed. This ... was his fault. Everything from the beginning of the trial to this very moment seemed to be. Jing Yi could have had a different life. Jing He could receive different memories. It was only because of his insistence to get involved that everyone had suffered.

In fact, come to think of it, the same could be said for Jinde. If not for him going to the mortal realm and finding him in the Yun Zou Sect, then later going to enlist Xin Lan's help, Jin Ling never would have found out about Jinde being alive. He wouldn't have come to the dragon realm that day and wouldn't have been involved in the battle. Well, maybe if not for his meddling, there wouldn't have been a battle in the first place because Jin Ling wouldn't have stopped defending his rule in the demon realm.

He couldn't say for sure but he was at least certain that his matters had caused a lot of grief. Some was his own but some wasn't. To the people he had done this to, he indeed felt sorry.

He sighed and turned back to Leng Jin Yu. "You wanted to say about Jinde?"

Leng Jin Yu walked over as well and stood next to Qiu Ling, furrowing his brows as he looked down at the coffin as well. "He's been like this pretty much all the time since it happened. He went out with me the day we send off Jin Ling but that was it. After that, he stood at the grave site for a long time before returning here. He has hardly moved since then. He won't talk either. I'm lucky if I can get a word or two out of him every now and then."

"It's not getting better at all?"

Leng Jin Yu shook his head. "Not that I can tell. I mean, it's only been a week. Maybe I'm too anxious. It's just ..." His gaze slipped to the shell in the water and he sighed. "We used a lot of spiritual energy to fortify the shell. When the energy inside runs out, that'll be absorbed first. But after that ... we still need to imbue more of it.

"In Jinde's state right now ... I'm honestly not sure if I can get him to get up and come out here to do this. I ... I don't even know if I should bring up our child or if that will make it worse. I'm scared." He looked up at Qiu Ling, his gaze full of fear.

Yes, at this time, he didn't know what to do. Throughout two lifetimes, he had seen Jinde in a lot of different moments. There had been happiness and sadness, anger and quiet peace. But he had never seen him like this: utterly desolate as if nothing could ever make his world whole again. Such a state ... he was afraid to watch it and he did not know how to make it better which scared him even more.