The Comedown | Luke Hemmings

Twenty

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Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something— a fragile thing to many.

Trusting someone takes time. It could take weeks, it could take months, or it could even take years to build up the brittle foundations of it.

The issue with trust is that although it takes time to build up, it can all shatter and break back down to nothing within only minutes.

I sat on the floor of Ashton's bathroom, contemplating how much if any of my trust in Maya still remained. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around it.

How long had Marcus been using in comparison to Luke?

That's just one of the new floods of questions entering the whirlwind of my mind.

The fact that she didn't tell me that Marcus was doing cocaine was not something that was completely detrimental to my trust in her. It was more so regarding the fact that she encouraged me to continue seeing Luke knowing damn well about his past and my own, despite her initial hesitation toward me even hanging around him to begin with.

How could she change her mind so quickly? She was well aware that this wasn't something I was going to take lightly and she had to of expected me to find out eventually.

Marcus's personal decisions were not my business by any means and maybe that makes me a hypocrite. Maybe it makes me a hypocrite considering that when I first found out Eric was using I ran directly to her for help. It might not have been her business to know my ex was using, but I had nobody else to turn to. His seemingly out of nowhere aggression led him to hit me while under the influence of cocaine. I wasn't going to keep that to myself.

I wasn't mad that Luke had struggled with drugs. He seemed genuinely pained by the experience and it was obvious to me that it took a lot out of him to have to sit down and tell me everything that was going on.

If he was genuinely putting the work into trying to maintain his sobriety, I could not rightfully hold that against him. In the end, it was his choice to try it in the first place, leading him into the addiction. I'm sure the constant partying at this house didn't make it easy for him to want to sober up. He should feel proud of himself for being able to step away from it like that, although I do wonder what made him decide to stop. I had a gut feeling it wasn't just a random epiphany.

I was mad that Luke had initially lied to me about his employment. He was a drug dealer.

Although he was sober now, and hopefully for good, he is still the person that helps other people maintain their own addictions in return for a quick buck. That wasn't something I supported him in.

Dealing weed would've been one thing, but dealing cocaine? That could kill someone and put his ass in prison...

I was mad that instead of him flat out telling Trevor he didn't want anything to do with it anymore he said nothing, didn't fulfill whatever deliveries he was supposed to do, and got into a fight. A fight that I just narrowly escaped witnessing.

When Trevor came into that kitchen he was looking for Luke, but what would've happened if I was the only one in the way of him getting to Luke? There was so many possibilities, yet none of them were anything positive.

This isn't what I wanted to get involved with at all. If I had known that this is what I was getting myself into with Luke I would've kept my distance, but now it's too late for that.

I didn't know how I was going to approach this next as no apology would be able to make up for any of it...

A faint knock on the bathroom door drew me out of my thinking. I had already been in here a long time and I knew that I couldn't just sit here forever.