The Comedown | Luke Hemmings

Three

-

A few days had gone by since the dinner party at Maya's and I still had made no progress in terms of getting employed. Although I wasn't in a rush to find anything I felt confused and didn't know if now would be the right time to find a real career. All I knew was that I wasn't going to be working retail ever again.

I've been spending my time listening to music, playing video games, practicing guitar and mostly just relaxing. Although the things I've been doing have been far from productive, it felt nice to be focusing on myself and my hobby's for the first time in awhile.

My guitar had become a dust collector for months, propped up on a stand in the corner of my living room. Picking it up for the first time in so long not only led me directly into a fit of sneezes, but also reminded me how important it once was to me.

While I wouldn't consider myself a musical prodigy, it was something that I was passionate about since I was a kid. I got my first guitar at the age of 13, and actively taught myself how to play throughout my adolescence.

I knew from a young age that music wasn't something I wanted to pursue, but it instead acted as a comforting hobby to me, along with being a great party trick to show off in college. If there was a guitar there I was picking it up and playing despite the immense anxiety that playing around people gave me.

The thought of Luke crossed my mind a few times during the span of those few days after the dinner party, but it was something that I immediately brushed off. Despite how attractive he was, I really didn't know him at all, and dating anyone isn't something that would be apart of my future anytime soon. Luke was just convenient and I already knew he was single, but I didn't feel like that was anything worth pursuing. All it consisted of was me recognizing that he was an attractive guy, and absolutely nothing more than that.

I wasn't sure when I'd be ready to date again, and I was beginning to feel like I'd never truly be ready. Despite it still being so soon since the breakup, I recognized that these feelings I had would probably eventually change, but I still couldn't imagine myself being in a relationship outside of what I used to have. Not a day had gone by since breakup that my ex wasn't on my mind. It plagued me daily. Every song I'd hear, every place I'd drive by— they were all overshadowed by the memories of us and what used to be.

It had felt like the walls of this home I originally had thought was built on a strong foundation began to crumble before my eyes. It was almost like a landslide came, forcing the walls to topple down and taking everything in its path with it as it went away.

His words would ring through my ears still, ripping my breath straight out of my lungs just as they did the day everything went down.

-

"Are you sure everything's ok?"

I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that something was wrong for the last week or so. The unexplainable gut feeling of approaching doom had me tied down. No amount of reassurance was satisfying to my chronically over-thinking mind and it was unbearable for me.

His hands went up to his hair, grabbing onto it tightly, something he did frequently when stressed. He took one, shaky deep breath before putting his hands back down onto his knees before speaking.

"Listen, we need to talk and I need you to not interrupt me." His words were cold and filled with a void of emptiness. My stomach dropped at his tone. I had been here before. This was a tone I was familiar with.

I stared at him blankly, a sharp pain was felt within my chest and my eyes were already fighting back the tears that had instantly formed. There was nothing I could say.