Devon and Trevor (bxb)

16

Devon woke up first and instantly cursed himself for dragging Trevor into his mess. He felt ashamed of the words that slipped off his tongue. At that moment, he'd reached a state he liked to call mental inebriation where he got so damn overwhelmed by it all that he spoke endlessly. Of course, that always happened in private so this was... Different. And the fact that the ginger had stayed, watched over him, listened... He wasn't sure he'd ever felt that cared for in his life and he didn't know what to do with how it made him feel.

Attempting to push it aside, he decided he would do some laps and return to the house. K was making breakfast, the fridge door left open. They could be so forgetful, he thought with the slightest smile. "So... I'm guessing mom took off to avoid all of this, eh? Good for her, I suppose. And btw, I'm leaving toda-"

The door closed, only to reveal their mother holding the jug of milk. She forced a rueful smile as he managed a spluttered good morning, looking less elegant than usual. Karen Simmons always looked put together. Always kept up that front of wellness in front of family, friends and rivals alike. Today, she looked tired. Today, she looked her age and didn't bother hiding it. Today, she looked a bit like what he imagined she'd look like in a universe where all she did, she did for her children rather than how she'd made it go the other way around.

All my children do, they do it for me. At least, I did. And now... Well... "I don't want to argue. With either of you. I have a headache trying to sort through all that was said, yesterday. And I won't say I understand all of it. But... Hearing both of you say what you did and mean it? Nothing terrifies me more. Nothing has ever terrified me more than the thought of losing any of you."

"Oh? And how about Kysha?"

"K, come on. She's trying!"

"No. No, Devon, it's fine. She's allowed to speak. As are you. I can't promise I'll listen to all of it but... I suppose your father and I made our mistakes. But I've always wanted a good life. For all of you. And yes, when it comes to your sister, I'd rather she didn't burn in hell. I did the right thing. She's the one that made the wrong decision."

"So you just threw her out?"

"No. She left. She took my ultimatum and chose to go her way instead of listening to m-"

"Conversion therapy breaks people. You wouldn't know. You're as straight as they come, probably but that's what we know. So many stories but I bet you've only heard its praises sung from your precious church. We already put on masks as human beings. Why would we want to put on any more at all, for the rest of our lives? I also don't suppose you're planning to use they/them pronouns for me... It's not that I'm surprised. Disappointed, I guess. Silly of me to have some hope."

"I can't. You understand, don't you? I might have made my mistakes but I'm not the one in the wrong, here. I did my best with you kids. I worked myself to the bone, all while trying to impart the word of God so you would grow to be good people and then you three just spit in my face? Has all of it been for nothing?" Devon blinked slowly, his mind in a haze. Then, a mirthless chuckle left his lips.

"Hmm... Did that sound like an apology to you, K?"

"No it did not, D."

"It's you two that should be apologising! I am your mother. You should be thankful you have a mother like me-"

"Who would gladly sacrifice your happiness for her prestige and reputation, for her ideas of what a truly successful and accomplished person must look like." Speaking back to his mother was strange. He'd done it before, lightly but never to this extent. Never to tell her she was not as good a person as she believed herself to be. "I... I'm leaving today. K, you'll be okay, right? I'd take you but-"