NHL Imagines

Forgive me - Jesperi Kotkaniemi (part 2)

Requested by Nhl2022

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It's been a couple of weeks since I broke up with Kk because of how childish he was being.

He came back a few hours after I told him to leave. In the end, it was his appartment too.
I packed my things up and went to one of my friend's house who lived nearby.
I told her I would need somewhere to sleep by the time I'd get an appartment for myself.

She kept telling me to forget him.
That I didn't deserve him.
She was probably right, but deep inside me, I still loved him. And I missed his cute Finnish accent.

He didn't technically cheat on me, he just hung out with other girls.
And maybe hockey was really in his way and he needed time and space.

But that's not a reason to tell me I'm boring and that this was why he was ignoring me.

Sometimes, I cried myself to sleep.
Maybe things would've been different if I had let him explain.

I didn't know what to think anymore.

I watched his games though, just to see how he was doing.

He hadn't had any points in several games, actually not since I broke up with him.
Maybe it wasn't linked at all.
Maybe he didn't even think about me anymore.

That was probably the case.

I would be mad too if he had broken up with me out of a sudden because he was too angry to let me explain myself.

Even if I tried, he wouldn't want me back.

So I decided to forget about him completely.

Easier said than done.

I kept seeing him everywhere.
I also couldn't sleep without him.

Everything made me think of him.

"Girl, you need to get over him, you look terrible" she was probably refering to the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, and my ruined mascara.
"What he said to you is unforgivable, you can't let him win so easily. Your heart belongs to somebody else, end of discution"

"Ok, mom" I said, laughing.

"Stop playing, this is serious. I'm tryna help you" she was pissed.

"I know, sorry. You're just really intense. Why do you care so much about my break up?"

"The question is why DON'T YOU care about your break up? I just don't think he could make you happy after what he did, but you keep wishing he would come back. I want you to think of something else!" she ordered.

"Alright, I'm going to sleep, good night"

"Night" she said back.

I went upstairs, brushed my teeth and put on a pair of shorts and one of Jesperi's shirts that I brought with me.
I wanted to make sure I had a souvenir.
The shirt smelled like him and it helped me fall asleep at night.

A few tears slipped from my eyes when I opened my phone and saw my lock screen: A picture of me and Jesperi together.

At this point, this was my night routine.
It made me sad, but it reminded me of him.

I fell asleep after a few hours of turning and squirming in bed trying to find a comfortable position, just like every night without Kk.

***

I woke up around 10am.
My friend was out, probably shopping.

I made myself some pancakes and listened to a few of my favorite songs while eating.
I got up and walked back to the kitchen, putting my plate in the dishwasher.

I then heard a knock on the door.

I opened it and saw Jesperi standing on the front porch with a bouquet of roses in his hands.

"Hey, Y/N"

I had missed him pronouncing my name.

"Hey" I greeted him.

"These are for you" he gave me the roses.

"Thanks, they're beautiful" I thanked him.

"Just like you" he said, his Finnish accent still so cute.

I blushed a little bit.

"Can I come in? I wanna talk"

"Uh, yeah sure" I replied.

He went in and closed the door behind him.
I put the roses in a vase that I found in the kitchen, where he had followed me.

"I just wanna say that I'm sorry, ok?" he started.

"Jesperi, it's more complicated than tha-"

"No let me finish" he interrupted me.
"I wanna say sorry because you were right, I was ignoring you and it was stupid of me. You were right to say that I'm not responsible, and that I act like a child. Those girls I was talking to, nothing happened between me and them. Because nobody cares for me like you do. Nobody was there for me like you were. I never loved anybody like I loved you. I didn't mean to say you were boring. I was the one who made the mistake. I couldn't believe myself. When you broke up with me, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't sleep anymore. I couldn't focus on anything anymore. And I know it was all my fault. I put hockey first and I ignored you, thinking I could become better and break records. I was selfish. Now, without you, I'm the worst hockey player ever, because you're not there to cheer me up or encourage me. My life sucks without you" tears started to fill my eyes hearing everything he was saying. He was truly sorry, I knew it.

"I understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but I just want you to know how much I feel bad for how I treated you and how I reacted. You were right of being mad. I understand if you want me to go, but can you just please, atleast forgive me?" he pleaded, tears in his eyes too.

I nodded my head. "Of course I forgive you. And I want to see you again, for sure, I wanna go back to how it was" I hugged him tightly.

He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back, and placed his lips on mine gently. "Rakastan sinuä" he said against my lips, kissing me again.
(I love you)

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