Is too heavy

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So I'm here few hours more for the year to end and I'm praying to be able to sneeze.
It sucks to have Covid but it's worse when the days pass and instead of feeling better you feel worse and not only for the disease but mentally aswell.
My sight got blurry and I knew I was about to have a break down. So I stood still and got mad, angry, that it's not enough to feel physically ill but now I was about to be mentally ill.
So I scream,
I scream I have enough! I'm done!
And I close my eyes and kept repeating over and over "this is enough for me".
Then I imagine my head falling off, and I understood I completely understood why all those people kill themselves.
Cause the head gets to heavy to carry.

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