22.) like the sea

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You tell me you know these seas.
But I know you're a liar.
You tell me to fear its depth and steer me away from it.
When it's the very thing we're riding on.
Now my tears fall like waterfalls
into the ocean, making it even more full.
And our boat sways over the ocean waves while thunder cackles from above.
As if to laugh at my unfortunate circumstance.
I'm always left alone at night in darkness watching wind perceivers twist the rain.
And when everyone else lays themselves to sleep I stay awake during the darkest midnights crying for minutes on end.
The way you smiled at me is burnt in my mind it hurt more than a frown would have ever done. So I bury my heavy heart, that's hurt and broken, deep into the soil where no one can hurt it.
They were right about me, I am lost. I am blind to my own reflection. So I curse myself with a blue complexion.
I am insomnia and I do not know sleep. When the sun parts from the moon the moon sleeps with the night while the sun is always operating daytime elsewhere.
How dare you make me fear the seas that so dearly connect the moon. All I ask is for you to forgive me while I go on to heal painfully, before I slip and drown and die too.
Tell me about the rain - whose tears are they?
I'm in a cold wasteland with nothing but screens and unrealistic dreams only to be crushed the blue night and bluer daylight.
Crush me too, crush the boat over my body, pierced my heart with it and drown me.
Open my flooding eyes with chopsticks and spit in them.
Show me the blue your words produce instead and I'll see if they match the colour of the sea.
Look what you have done! I have never known sleep!
I lay awake when everyone else is asleep! Like a hanging star I never get to fall. Because I'm being held up by string.
Oh but I still fake a smile.
I still glow. Somehow. I exude light. One that flickers. One that is broken and wet. Like the sea.
︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎∞︎︎
ద ద    𖦊   ꪉ   𐀔  𐃸   ద 𖦊 ʊ
༒ ༒   ༒  ༒ . . ༒ . . ༒
༒    ༒   ᜊ  ༒ ༒ ༒
༒           ༒ ༒
༒           ༒ ༒       .        .       ༒
༒           ༒ ༒         .    .         ༒
ద ༒
༒             .   ༒
༒   .        .    ᰔ

Shards of Sugar (2022 - 2023) | PoetryWhere stories live. Discover now