Chasing Shadows //Theo James//

C H A P T E R 6

~ B L A K E~

We're kissing. Why is he kissing me? I like it but why? What is going on? It's 11:00 at night and he is standing here making out with me. I am not kissing back, not because I don't want to, but because this is my first kiss. I don't know what to do, well I know what to do but I am so confised right now.

He pulls back but keeps his hands on ym cheeks. He gives me a confused look. Oh no, I hurt his feelings.

"Sorry." I say and bite my lip. "That was," I pause for a second. "My first kiss." I lose my eyes and put my head down in embarrassment. He lifts my head up so I can look him in the eye. I can feel a few tears appearing on my face. "Sorry," I say and laugh at my self a little. "I'm just so embarrassed."

"Hey, no need to be embarrassed, it's just me." He says and starts to wipe my tears away with his thumbs.

"But that's why I'm emabarrassed!" I say. "You're Theo James, the british heart-throb and has had so many girls and I am Blake Miller who has never had a boyfriend and has never had any friends," Before I can stop myself, I am pouring out my sould to him. I ahve been keeping my pain in for too long. "Always was the misfit, always was reading in a corner being a loner, and always writing stupid stories about fantasy worlds that I thought I could escape to because Being an orphan sucks! DO you knwo how many scars I have because of this?! Do you wanna knwo the real reason why I work at that stupid book store all the time?! It's because nothing has ever went right for me! I want to be a helper and not a burden! Gosh, I HATE MY LIFE!" I say. I realize that I was pounding my fist against his a chest as I was letting out all of my pain. I am full on sobbng right now. I collaspe in his arms and he wraps his arms around me. The tears won't stop coming.

"Shh." He says, trying to calm me down. He runs his hand through my hair. He leads me into my apartment and closes the door behind him. I am still crying. He goes down my tiny hallway and finds my bedroom. He leads me into my bedroom and picks me up and lays me in my bed. He ends up laying down beside me with me curled up besdie him because I would not let go of his neck. I am crying into the crook of his neck. For a mixture fo reasons. One, because of what I am going through. Two, because i can't believe I just said all of that to him. I could only tell him that if  I relally loved him. Wait, maybe I do love him? Wait, no, it's too early for that. I eventually calm down a little bit to where I can catch a breath.

"I'm gonna push you away. I am a burden. You can just go now." I say.

"No, I'm not gonna go. Your're not pushing me away." He says. He moves a ittle and raises my head out of the crook of his neck. Now we are face to face.

"I'm not?" I ask.

"No, you're not." He says. I smile and he smiles back.

"Now, would it be completly ludicrous if we just made out, right now?" He asks. I smile even bigger because I knwo he's quoting The Fault In Our Stars again.

"Oh, shut up." I say and I kiss him.

We kiss and talk for the next hour and avoid what talking about tonight and then w eventually fall asleep.

--TIME LASPE--

I wake up the next morning next to Theo.  smile at the ight of him. He looks so peaceful when he's asleep. I look over at my clock on my nightstand and see that it is 9:00 in the morning. I turn back to Theo and he opens his eyes. He smiles. "Good morning." He says.

"Good morning." I say. Suddenly, a thought comes to my mind. I never actually asked him why he came to my apartment tonight.

"Theo?" I ask.

"Mm?" He says.

"Why did you come to my apartment last night at eleven o' clock?" I ask.

"Well," He laughs a little." Because I wanted to ask you a question."

"And that question is?"

"Blake," He says. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I can not contain my smile. I have never had a boyfriend but there si a first for everything.

I nod my head slowly while biting my lip, trying to hold back my big smile a little bit. He smiles a big smile and pecks me on the lips and this time I kiss back. When we pull back, we sare at each other and kept help but laugh because we are so happy.

We get out of bed and walk into the kitchen. I open up one of the cabinets and get some Cocoa Pebbles and then I go tot he fridge and get the milk and then I get a bowl from another cabinet and then get a spoon out of one of the drawers.

"Do you want some?" I ask Theo.

"Sure." He says. I get hima  bowl and spoon and then I make our cereal. I set our bowls down on the table and we both sit down and eat.

"Blake, what do you mean by scars?" Theo asks. I look up slowly and put my sppon down. I roll up my sleve and put my across the table. aThere are deep cut marks on my wrists and on ym upper arm. His eyes widen.

"When, I wear short sleeved tee shirts, I put the make up that covers tattoos on them and no one sees them." I say.

"Oh, Blake. This is awful." He says.

"Yeah, I've stopped, though. I'm okay." I say. There is a moment of silence.

"Theo," I say to break the silence. "Do you promise that I am not pushing you away?" Theo grabs my hand and starts caressing his thumb over my hand.

"I promise." He says. We smile at each other.

a/n: so what do you all think?