no control

• twenty •

"Because . . ." I frowned. "It just does. Because I'm not."

"I enjoy my privacy. If you're flashy, people will know you have more than them and they will try to use you."

"Sounds like you're speaking from personal experience."

He shrugged. "I don't let anyone close enough to use me. I'm very reserved, if you can't tell."

Oh, I could tell. The man had hardly revealed anything personal about himself in all our time together.

"You think I want to use you?" I asked, my chest aching at the thought.

His chuckle put me at ease. "Certainly not. You're too fucking prideful and stubborn."

"Touché," I muttered, sticking my tongue out at him.

I accepted the mug he held out to me and brought the scalding liquid to my mouth. Gritting my teeth, I hissed in pain. Elijah stole a worried glance at me before clicking his tongue to his teeth.

"It's hot. Be careful."

"I realize that now," I sulked, setting the traitorous mug aside.

Elijah crossed to a long dining table situated near several large bay windows. "Come sit," he commanded.

My feet carried me over to him while I reluctantly carried the hot mug between my hands. I caught a glimpse of the peaceful view beyond the windows and sighed. All concern for my burnt tongue melted away. This place was literally heaven.

A vast, crystal clear lake glistened in the morning sun, outlined by an unpaved trail that connected the sprawling lush yard to the surrounding forest. Behind the shimmering blue waters, jagged mountains reached up toward the cloudless blue sky.

"Angel."

I turned to see Elijah seated at the dining table, though his chair was turned away from it. He patted his lap. Gulping, I timidly moved closer. He lifted a hand as if to summon me the rest of the way, but I hesitated.

What if I broke his legs with my fat ass? He could most definitely sue the absolute shit out of me.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed.

Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?

"I love your fat ass."

My jaw dropped as I scowled at his smirking face. "That's not a compliment!"

"Sure, it is. Now, come and sit in my lap before I spank your succulent backside."

That was better so I conceded, closing the distance between us and lowering my butt onto his thighs. His hands clamped onto my hips and maneuvered me around so I could see out the window.

"This is one of my favorite views," he said.

"It really is beautiful," I agreed and relaxed into him.

He sipped from his mug and kept an arm around my waist. We were quiet for a moment, absorbing the peaceful moment.

Naturally, my insecurities had to self-sabotage me. Traitorous thoughts stirred from the back of my mind.

Does he do this with all of the girls he has over?

My stomach twisted. I cleared my throat and set the mug down. The idea was so unsettling that I couldn't keep it in.

"I have a question."

He hummed. Wetting my lips, I rubbed my palms together. Maybe I shouldn't bring it up. What if I got answers I didn't want to hear? I had to know, though.