Let You Go (Larry Stylinson)

Hospital

Harry wakes up with a pounding in his head. At first he wants nothing more than to sink back into the folds of sleep and nothingness, but then he remembers the events of the night before. Harry's eyes snap open with a jolt and he's temporarily blinded by the fluorescent lights.

"Where am I?" he croaks groggily, hoping someone will hear. Right on cue, a strict-faced nurse walks in and begins measuring his pulse.

"Hospital," she answers curtly, picking up a clipboard. "Can you tell me your name?"

Harry ignores the question. "Is Louis ok? What happened to him?"

The nurse flicks her eyes over to Harry and then back to her clipboard. "That's your friend? The other one they found in the apartment?" Harry nods desperately, despite the throbbing in his head.

"Are you two related?" the nurse asks, eyes not moving from the clipboard.

"No," Harry replies, "but he's my--"

"I can't tell you anything if you're not related by blood," she interrupts. "Medical confidentiality. You're fine though. Nothing broken. You might have a slight headache today."

Harry ignores this and buries his face in his hands, realising he doesn't actually care at all about his own health.

"Can you at least tell me if he's alive?" Harry asks, voice broken. "Please."

The nurse sighs and rolls her eyes.

"What's your name?"

"Harry Styles."

"And you said he was..."

"Louis Tomlinson." Harry looks at her pleadingly. The nurse stands up and starts to walk away. When she's almost at the door, she turns around to face him.

"He did made it through the night. We aren't sure he'll make the rest of today, but we're trying our very best," she says finally.

Her tone is gentle enough and she looks at him sympathetically as she says it, but it doesn't matter. Harry's world crumbles to pieces.

Later that day, Harry gives the hospital Louis' mum's number.

***

Jay is at home folding laundry when she receives a call. It's an unknown number but she picks up anyways. Straight away she hears that it's from some hospital somewhere, and begins to worry. What could have happened?

"We called today to inform you that your son was attacked yesterday. He made it through the night but his condition is unstable and unfortunately there's a high chance he won't make it to tomorrow," the lady on the other end of the phone says. Jay is in shock. Are they talking about Louis? She stays silent as the lady rambles on about internal bleeding and skull fractures.

"Where is he?" Jay finally manages. The woman reels off an address which Jay types into her phone, grabbing the car keys as she strides out of the door.

"Do you need me to repeat that?" the tinny voice of the lady on the phone presses. "It's--"

She is cut off by the noise of a car engine starting.

"I'll be there soon," Jay promises, and pulls out of the driveway.

***

Jay is allowed to see Louis right away when she arrives, but he's completely unconscious. Her eyes fill with tears as she sits next to the nearly lifeless body of her son, filled with tubes and covered in bandages. A large machine on his left beeps tirelessly, monitoring his heartbeat. Every time she hears another beep she breathes a tiny sigh of relief, praying on every second that the steady rhythm won't be broken.

"Ma'am?" A nurse interrupts Jay's spiralling thoughts. "The person who was with your son when he was attacked is just outside. He's asking if he can speak to you. And he'd like to see your son as well, if you'll allow it."

Jay is confused. She isn't aware that anyone else had been with Louis. As far as she's aware, he lives alone.

"Who is it?" she finally asks, confusion getting the better of her.

"Harry Styles."

***

As soon as Harry makes it through the door, the floodgates break and he bursts out crying.

"It's-- it's all my fault," he sobs to Jay, who tries patting him reassuringly. "I-- I told him he should g-go outside more, and--and that must have been how h--he found Lou, and I couldn't-- I couldn't protect him and now he might d--die and it's all my f--fault," Harry buries his face in his hands, his entire body shaking with sobs. Seeing Louis laying there, so unnaturally still, hurts him in a way he's never hurt before.

"Shhh, Harry. I'm sure it isn't your fault. Just breathe. Can you tell me what happened, please? From the start," Jay asks. Harry suddenly realises he's never been asked this, but here, now, he sits up, takes a deep breath, and begins.

Harry tells her everything. He talks about their strange breakup. The weird encounter at Niall's house when Louis was drunk. The phone call he got a few weeks ago, begging for help. Jack. And finally, about what happened less than twenty four hours ago. Harry has managed to stay calm almost the entire time, but now tear start rolling down his cheeks.

"I don't know how he found Louis, so I'm guessing it must have been one of our trips out. He said a while ago that he was scared and you know what I did?" Harry looks up at her through tear stained eyelids. "I encouraged him to go outside. I told him I'd keep him safe. But instead... he saved me," Harry croaks, his voice hoarse.

"What do you mean, love? How did he save you?" Jay presses. The way she calls him love reminds him of Louis, and it's almost impossible for Harry to continue. Especially since this is the part he feels the most guilty about.

"Louis knew that Jack wouldn't hurt me as long as he got what he wanted. He--he wanted Louis. And-- Louis.... he gave himself up to protect me. First he knocked me out so that I couldn't stop him from going, and then he unlocked the kitchen door and gave himself up," Harry sobs, his voice low and heart wrenching. "And I didn't do anything."

Jay strokes Harry's cheek softly.

"Honey, you did everything you could. If it weren't for you, Louis wouldn't be here at all. You tried your best. That's all you can do," she whispers, smiling at him tearfully. Harry nods. He doesn't really believe her, but he's too tired to disagree right now.

"I'll give you some time alone with him, if you want," Jay offers, standing up. "I need to stretch my legs anyways." Harry nods again, unable to speak.

"Thanks," he manages to whisper. She turns around to face him.

"No, Harry. Thank you. For saving my son's life."

***

As soon as she's gone, Harry moves closer. He holds Louis' hand tightly and kisses his face over and over again, whispering how much he loves him.

"I'm so sorry Louis. I love you. Please come back to me. Don't let me go," he whispers into Louis' neck, hoping on some miracle that Louis will wake up suddenly and promise that he'll always love him. When he doesn't feel like talking anymore, Harry starts singing. It's very quiet and his voice is raspy from all the crying, but it's just for Louis. And Harry wants him to know.

"Only half a blue sky,

Kinda there but not quite,

Walking round with just one shoe,

I'm half a heart without you.

Half a man, at best,

There's half an arrow in my chest,

I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you."

Just as Harry finishes, so does Louis' heart.

Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeee....