Let You Go (Larry Stylinson)

Last Good Day

Louis looks over at the boy sleeping next to him and it kills him. Today. It has to be today, because he's been putting it off for months now but he needs to do it. Louis tries to roll out of bed quietly; he doesn't want to wake the boy next to him. 

Too late. Harry hums in his sleep and reaches out a hand to pull him in, eyes still firmly shut. Louis can't help it; he melts at the touch. Allowing himself to be pulled back under the covers, he promises himself. Today is the last day. He won't throw it away, that would be stupid. He'll make it the best day of his life, but it'll be the last one where he wakes up next to Harry. 

Harry opens his eyes and Louis is met with a sea of green. He falls in love all over again. And once again he tells himself: it has to be today.

***

Louis makes chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. When Harry sees them, his eyes widen in disbelief and he throws his arms around the shorter boy.

"You made pancakes?" Harry asks. "You never make pancakes!"

Louis smiles and it hurts.

"They're your favourite. Wanted to make you happy," he explains, planting a kiss on Harry's jaw. They eat the pancakes and then they fuck right there in the kitchen and it's so so nice and Louis reminds himself that it can't last. That it's only for today.

***

It's the evening and the whole day has gone flawlessly. But now Louis has to say something because he wants to do one last thing in person. He reaches over Harry's lap and switches the TV off before climbing onto his legs and straddling him. 

Harry smirks slightly, raising an eyebrow. Louis takes a deep breath, tracing his finger along Harry's cheekbone. He really is beautiful.

"I love you," he says, looking directly into Harry's eyes. "I love you so much and I just need you to know right now that whatever happens after this moment, more than anything else, I am in love with you, Harry Styles."

He drops his eyes as he finishes and Harry's eyes soften. 

"What's all this about, love?" Harry questions. Louis shrugs. "Just one of those days, hmm?"

Louis shrugs again and nods. He supposes it could be classed as "one of those days." Really, though, it's not, because this day is only happening once. 

"Can we cuddle?" he asks. Harry replies by bundling him into his arms and carrying him towards their bedroom. They cuddle until Harry falls asleep and Louis reminds himself that he really does have the best boyfriend in the world. He takes one final look at the boy sleeping next to him.

He looks so peaceful, and in the morning it's all going to change. It'll be for the better, Louis tells himself over and over again but he can't help but hate himself as he leaves the note on Harry's bedside table and steps out into the cold night. He manages to hold the tears in and tells himself not to look back. But as the taxi pulls up to take him away, he can't stop himself from turning back to have one final look. 

Then the tears flow as if they'll never stop.