Embers of Eternity (Book 8 of the Keyblade Legends Rainimator Fanfic Series)

Chapter 150: I Am My Father

Riko's POV

Have you ever... just wanted to give up?

To let go of that cliff that you've been holding on for life?

Just to make the pain go away?

Would it be selfish of me to do so?

Would anyone care, would anyone cry.

If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

Because I'd rather being dead than alive right, I'd rather be asleep eternally. I don't want to suffer this invisible abuse no more.

Sometimes I just want to let go, fall from the sky of a million stars.

You welcome me with open arms, but in the end we both know that's not the truth. 

How many times I wish I could change.

Just look into my eyes and tell me it's okay.

But we know we won't be okay, but still just lie to me.

How many times have you looked at me? How many times have you fled from me? How many times have you judged me? How many times have you lied to me? How many times have you tried to kill me?

Oh, I've lost count, it hurts too much.

Your cold heartless eyes, dyed blue and red. 

I know you want me dead.

You grasp that black sword, darkness falls but I will give my all.

Please don't kill me, I'm not like my father, I promise you. 

I'm just a kid who wants to live, see a better world and be happy.

But looking in your eyes, it's just a fantasy.

Wish I could take out my heart, just to show you who I really am.

But I'm too scared to learn the truth.

Monster, they scream inside my head.

Relentlessly, every night as I lay in bed. 

Can you please be quiet now?

I just want some sleep, I'm holding on to the ledge.

We both wish that I was dead.

Wish I didn't remind you of him.

I'm not like my father, I promise you.

As I stare off this cliff tonight. I wonder is it okay to let go.

Fall through a sky of a million stars.

I know I'm not okay.

The monsters they scream inside my head.

The looks you give me every day.

But maybe I deserve it. 

Maybe I'm an evil that I just don't understand.

Should I let go of the ledge tonight?

Fall through a sky of a million stars? 

Would anyone care, would anyone cry.

If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?

Who cares if one more light goes out?

In a sky of a million stars

Who cares when someone's time runs out?

Wish I knew. Wish I had an answer for you.

Because I don't know who would care.

But I know you want me to.

Just give up and take the darkness away.

I'm not my father, why can't you just please just understand?!

You tell me I need to prove myself, but you never give me the chance.

So tell me how am I supposed to show who I am?

I'm not my father, but clearly you think I am! 

I'm tired of it! I can't go on! I'm suffering! This invisible abuse! Am I a monster?! I can no longer tell! Am I my father?! Because I think I am! But it's getting so darn loud! The voices inside my head! Can we all shut up and remember the happy days, but I'm afraid of those, because I don't understand what it means to be happy.

Can you please tell me? Answer all my questions?

Am I a monster?

Am I my father?

I can no longer tell, because I fear I am.

Can you silence the voices inside my head.

Can you tell me that everything will be okay?

But I know you won't, as I look deep into your eyes. 

Should I let go of the ledge tonight?

Fall through a sky of a million stars?

Because nobody will cry if I were to die.

Maybe that truth hurts inside, maybe the truth is killing me. Maybe I'm already broken, but I can no longer tell. I don't think I have a heart left.

Am I a monster?

Am I my father?

Can you silence the voices inside my head?

Can you tell me everything will be okay?

Should I let go of the ledge tonight?

Fall through a sky of a million stars?

I'm afraid that nobody would care, that nobody would cry.

Can I be replaced, if I were to give up the fight?

I fell through the atmosphere, the ground so far away.

No longer breathing, no longer screaming.

The stars flickering above me, such a beautiful sight.

Wish I could show you who I really am, wish I could make you understand, but we both know I'll never change your mind.

The cold heartless stares, the words of anger you've spoke to me.

Resonates in my memory like a broken symphony.

It hurts too much to live, I think I'd rather be dead.

I know I won't change your mind, know it's painful to. Wish I could try and tell you that I'm not my father.

But you won't understand, you won't change your mind.

You will walk away, because a monster is what I am.

Give me a second chance, let me to show you. 

I'm so sorry, was it to become this way?

I'm just like you, but you don't understand. You are the one to kick me off the ledge. 

It hurts too much, but maybe it's okay.

I know it's not okay, but I will lie to me.

I'm not okay, but I think I'll be okay.