TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

35

Jungkook closed his eyes in frustration, angling away from me. "This is why I don't want to talk about it. I always knew it would end this way."

"Well, I guess I'm bad at talking, huh?" I felt my head spin. I never wanted to take this so personally when I knew he wasn't in a good headspace at that time, and I probably shouldn't be ticked off by this. I tried to convince myself that one of us needed to step away from this, and the bitter feeling heaping up in my chest would eventually melt into my stomach and be washed away by something good or kind eventually. We were just laughing earlier. We'd just been joking around.

"No, you misunderstood again." Which also meant I wasn't handling it well.

"Listen, why don't we just go home and blow off some steam?"

Jungkook groaned. "I'm not mad at you, Soohyun."

"I'm not, either."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Are we really going home now?"

"I want to."

He was hesitant to go. "I won't be seeing you tomorrow. For a whole week, actually."

For a second, fear wrenched my heart. "Why?"

"I have to attend this conference on arthroplasty and other specializations. It's in Ulsan. Will be leaving by ten."

"Alright," I said.

He was silent for a moment, watching me. I hoped I had a clue what was going through his head. "I'm gonna call every now and then... Please don't ignore me."

"No. I'm not going to ignore you. But if you don't want to talk to me, I'll give you that. I won't take it against you if you can't. Or if you don't."

Jungkook stepped around me, holding out his hand and curling his fingers around mine. He managed a light squeeze. "I know. But I want to." His shoulders lost some of the tension, standing too close now. "I will call."

. . .

Before I fell asleep that night, a message came through.

Jungkook

I'm sorry for making you sad tonight, and I like you so much, too, you know?

. . .

After working a 16-hour shift at the hospital, I drove straight to my parents' house feeling a little homesick, not expecting to see my brother drinking by himself in the veranda. I made myself comfortable in my father's favorite rocking chair across from Jimin after dinner, shooting back a weird stare at him when he did so.

"Tell me, have you been kicked out of your apartment?" I asked.

Jimin laughed into his hand. "Not yet. I've just been getting so bored there. It's nice to catch up with mom and dad every once in a while, you know."

I smiled a little. "How's work going?"

"Work's going, I guess? But well, it's great. Just the usual. You getting enough sleep?"

"I try to."

He leaned back in his seat, swirling the wine around in his glass. "I've been wanting to drop by the hospital to see you, but I worry about catching you at such a bad time. You told me things are crazier now that you're on your chief residency."

"Come one of these days. I'll let you know when I can make time."

"Okay. So, how are your friends?"

I watched him down his drink. "They're doing just fine, yeah."