Bloodshed | Ryeji

25 | two hearts on a thread

Ryujin

"Mom, watch out!!!"

Seconds started to become slower as the bullet reaches her skin, entering the body of where I was once. The sea of blue became a horror of red, and there, my mom fell in my arms as the man who shot her started to drive away.

Everything fell silent. I couldn't hear the loudness of my screams nor the gasp of air escaping my mother's mouth. I couldn't hear the ocean waves coming back and forth. I couldn't hear anything.

Yellow. That's the color of the dress she's wearing. It was bright like the sun on this sunday afternoon and it was warm and comfortable as it was her favorite colour.

It meant happiness and joy.

But now, yellow slowly turned into the color of pain. It suddenly turned cold like her body drenched in water and blood.

She was gone.

"Unnie...?"

Yuna's voice started ringing in my ears like a screech. It hurt.

It hurt so bad.

"Eomma..?"

"Eomma..."

She didn't think twice and started running towards us, her eyes clouded with tears when she held on to our mother's body, begging for her to be alive.

"No, no, no... Unnie do something! Ryujin Unnie!!"

"Yuna..."

I was in shock. I was still processing my surroundings, and I wasn't thinking straight.

"Eomma wake up please..."

"Please!!!"

"Ryujin, wake up!"

I could feel my tears running down my cheeks when I opened my eyes. Yeji's eyes pierced into mine, screaming how worried she is.

I dreamed about it again.

"Yeji..." The pain in my chest started to rise once again. I buried myself on her chest, letting everything out. I hated it when someone sees me crying, but with her, I felt free. I felt safe, especially in her arms.

"Please tell me what's wrong..." She whispered in my ear as she caressed my back in the gentlest way possible. I could feel her heartbeat thump in my ear, and its sound calming me down slowly.

"Breathe, Ryujin.. I'm here."

She's here.

That's enough.

--

Yeji

I was busy rechecking the files on my laptop when I noticed how restless she is even though she was asleep. Her breathing became heavy, and her face looked like she was in pain.

A nightmare?

"Ryu..." I shook her body gently but I panicked when I saw tears coming out of her eyes. "Ryujin wake up!"

"Yeji..." Her face was painted with horror but her eyes softened when she looked at me. She slowly got up and buried herself between my arms, and wept silently. "Please tell me what's wrong..."

Seeing her vulnerable reminds me of myself when I was younger. I always had nightmares, and my aunt was always there to carry them away. She would sing songs for me or tell me stories that would make me forget.

"Breathe, Ryujin.. I'm here."

and if I wasn't... she would've lived in that dream longer.

"Can I sing a song for you?" I offered. She tightened her grip on me and nodded. I held her closer to me.

[listen to grey suit by suho]

"I feel faded, I'm not used to this new color.
Unstable emotions, throw on and go.
Like an achromatic color that lost its warmth,
I'm walking through the pale hours."

"Full with the light and colors that I took for granted, While I was thinking about the time we were together. This grey is spreading sorrowfully throughout my memory. My heart is trapped in the day I let you go."

Her body felt more light, and the stiffness was gone. I stroked her hair and noticed she stopped crying.

"With you, the whole world is aglow. I pray, you're light. Suddenly, the frozen minutes melt like a miracle. The moment I encounter you, it turns into colors. Together again, no more grey."

My heart was on my sleeves. Seeing Ryujin like this is like stabbing my chest over and over again.

I don't think I can cause something that'll hurt her even more.

"What are you doing to me, ryu?" I whispered. She was asleep once again, and I can't help but wipe the tears left on her cheeks.

You left such an imprint on this heart of mine.

and I don't want it to go.