𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐃

13 | willow blood

Evelyn

My father looks weaker than he did months ago.

His skin is so pale, it's almost translucent. You can see the veins branching out in different directions. His pajamas are bigger on him, since he's lost an excessive amount of weight, despite the efforts of the nurse preparing him full meals daily. She tells me that he's eating most of his meals and she makes sure he's taking his meds and stays hydrated, yet the rate he's losing weight is starting to concern me. His clothes drape over his already skinny body. His breathing is heavy and I can practically feel what he feels just from watching him. The way his chest tightens when as he inhales and then the momentary relief as he exhales.

Ever since we've hooked him on chemo, the side effects have worn him out completely. Tiredness, fatigue, nausea and vomiting are things we've anticipated. He's also lost his appetite, which explains the weight loss. Unfortunately, I can't visit him as often as I'd like, but I try to keep an eye on him as much as possible, by asking the nurse about his progress and accompanying him at most doctor appointments.

My gaze falls on the tissues in the bin and I replace the bag with a new one. I look through the trash at empty pill boxes and tissues with blood splotches all over the surface. Twisting the bag into a knot, I start picking up the newspapers with the morning crossword puzzle from the nightstand along with the empty glass. I move around the room on tiptoes, careful not to wake my father up when I hear my mom going down the stairs.

"Eva..." Dad murmurs, his eyes barely open and I caress his hair affectionately.

"You need to rest." I say soothingly, pulling the covers over his body. He grabs my hand just as I'm about to leave.

"Are you holding up fine?" His voice is a mere whisper and I nod in response.

"I moved into a new place in the city. A two bedroom apartment with a sweet view."

"Nothing beats the view from our house." He rasps. "Remember Evelyn, Willow House is yours. Always was. Always will be. When I-"

"Dad, quiet. You'll be alright."

"It was your grandfather's greatest wish." He continues and even though his voice is breathy it's still full of emotion when he talks about Willow house. "When you were born he loved watching you grow up in here. He watched you take your first steps in the kitchen before the wooden flooring was replaced with the chessboard tiles, and he laughed when you broke your mother's finest china in the sun-room as you tried to reach for the color pencils he left out on the table. You were happy living here, even though it wasn't all that long, so this house is yours."

"Dad..." I mumble.

"I just wanted to tell you this now that I'm awake. All the times you come here, I'm already fast asleep. You should visit more when the sun is up Eva."

I bite my lip, trying my best not to smile from ear to ear. "I will."

My father and I didn't get the chance to know each other very well when I was younger. He used to be away all the time thanks to his job as a structural iron and steel worker and since we were in a pretty tight spot financially, he was forced to work overtime. And now that I think of it, I used to resent him for that.

My childish mind was warped by my mother's influences, so I used to think that my father was away all the time because he despised me. I was a pretty observant kid, but the problem with that was that I believed exactly what I saw, without processing the underlying things that were actually going on. Meanwhile, my mother was cheating on him and doing drugs behind his back and when she was caught red handed, she would twist the truth according to her benefit.