I'm in Love with my Worst Nightmare

Chapter 21

The drive home from Utah was agonizing, I was going straight to Cesar's house to see him, and tell me. I hoped the drive would feel like eternity, because I did not want to tell him. I wanted to lock up what I did and never speak of it.

I pulled into the driveway to Cesar's one floor house. I waited in my car and prepared myself for what was to come. I wasn't sure if he would hate me, forgive me, not care, or break up with me. I prayed he would forgive me, considering I forgave him. But what I did was different: I broke his trust, I took his "I love you" and ran with it. I can't do that him, I love him too much to keep this a secret. I slowly walked up his porch and knocked.

Cesar came running up. He opened the door and pulled me close. He kissed the top of my head. "I missed you." He smiled.
I didn't answer.
Cesar took my hand and led me to the couch and sat down next to me. "Tell me about it. I was worried when you didn't text me. I was looking at my-"

"Cesar." I interrupted. His eyebrows burrowed.

"Hmm?" He said so oblivious.

"We need to talk." I said.

He looked concerned. "Ok..." He said.

"I was on the set, and my costar, Ethan, came over and kind of hit on me." I started.

"What? Do you need me to talk to your director or something? Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

"He kept hitting on me..." My eyes began to water. "And then-" I started to bawl. Cesar wrapped his arm around me.

"Avia what happened?" He asked.

"We kissed." Cesar's eyes got wide. "And I kissed him back. I stopped it though, I-"

Cesar moved his arm and stood up. "You should go." He said, his eyes growing with tears.

"Please just talk to me, Cesar." I said with tears flooding down my face.

"There's nothing to talk about, Avia. Just go." He turned around and headed for the kitchen.

"Cesar-"

"You told me you loved me! I told you I loved you, too. Avia you cheated on me! You destroyed my trust. You stole my 'I love you.' I don't want to see you again. Just leave." He cried.

"Cesar I do love you! I do!" I shouted.

"Then you wouldn't have made out with some other guy you just met!" He shouted.

"I stopped it! He used me, he seduced me. I feel horrible, Cesar! I know I screwed up, but I love you! I don't love anyone else! I'm so sorry. The kiss didn't mean anything, I didn't feel any connection, I was the one who ended it! I told him to never talk to me again. I will quit the movie to prove to you that I don't care about anything but you!" I said as tears continued to stain my cheeks.

"Avia, I'm done. I know I'm not one to talk, because I did made a pretty damn big mistake, but you told me you loved me. You made me fall head over heels in love with you. We were in a committed relationship, Avia. You don't go around sticking your lips on other guys if you actually care about me." Tears began to fall down his face.

"Cesar, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot. I am an idiot for hurting you."

"Yeah, you hurt me, Avia." He wiped his face on his shirt.

"I'm so sorry." I said again.

"I am too, Avia. I'm sorry I was so naive to believe you actually cared about me." He walked to the front door and opened it. "Just go." He didn't even look at me as I walked out the door. I turned around and tried to get him to see how sorry I was.