Chasing the Sun

T e n : The Human Experience

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Life's a cycle of emotions, both good and bad and for the most part, we allow ourselves to feel these fleeting sentiments. We understand that the human experience encompasses the push and pulls of happiness and sadness but the acceptance of fear is a different story.

Everyone pretends to be free from fear, unbothered by the unforeseen terror mandated to be the poison of the weak.

I've learnt, whether you're weak or strong, only fear is free and it's mighty benevolent.

The great equalizer, no race, class or gender privilege can save you when fear's in control.

Self-help books or meditation be dammed too, there's no way to outsmart fear.

Instead, we allow the irrational panic to exist within us while hoping we are resilient enough to push through the unease it throws in the race of life.

That's why when all is said and done, I want to be the unstoppable force that beats an immovable being.

Though, as the seconds' tick by as slow as a clock being watched and Alice remains speechless, I wonder who will win tonight's battle?

-

As time continues and the distance between my words and Alice's expands, it seems the ability to speak has truly escaped her.

I'm nervous but as her eyes travel up and down the length of my face before settling on my lips, my mind only fills with thoughts of kissing her.

When her eyes snap up to meet mine, we both jolt back a step.

A gentle laugh passes between us before she clasps her hands together and twiddles her thumb.

"What did you say?" Alice's voice is a high-pitched whisper as it echoes around the small space between us like rain against a windowpane.

"I...I was wondering..." I can feel each word form on the tip of my tongue but with her eyes so clearly focused on me and me alone, I can't help but drown in their pool of warm whiskey.

I look away from Alice for a moment to glimpse at the sky, reassurance floating with the stars and the moon above.

No more excuses.

"I said, will you go out on a date with me?" I inch closer to her, stretching forward as my hand takes a hold of hers.

Surprisingly Alice gives my hand a tender squeeze as our fingers intertwine, the feel of her hand in mine helping to ease my remaining nerves.

"You know...I...well...I never thought I'd be the speechless one in our duo." Alice's eyes widen and a small giggle drifts from her parted lips.

I grin and with our palms pressed together and our fingers entangled, I stroke my thumb against the side of her hand.

A soft gasp leaves her lips as she glances down at our hands before looking back at me, her cheeks leisurely rising into a bright smile.

"Johnny, I would l –" ring ring ring ring.

The blaring sound of her phone interjects, "I'm so sorry, just let me shut this off." she mutters several choice words before she slinks her free hand into the pocket of her pantsuit.

Quickly she peeks at the name, a strange emotion filtering through her eyes before she silences the call.

Soon her lips dip down into a scowl and she inhales a sharp breath.

Time stops as Alice continues to stare at the now black phone screen before a wrangled sound leaves her lips and she gazes up at me.

Slowly she wiggles her hand free of mine and slips the phone back into her pocket before twisting her legs and turning her back to me.