the secrets we shared | rowan laslow x reader

chapter xvii

fuck. this was not how it was supposed to go. i trudge back to my room, unable to keep my head up. as i am walking up the stairs, i get shoved into the wall. panic fills my body as i am pinned against the wall, and look to see xavier.
"what did you do?" he whispers in disgust. what the hell is he on about?
"what?"
"to rowan. what did you do?" he repeats.
"n-nothing" i say, uncertainly.
"oh really? then why did he just burst into my dorm having a full on panic attack?" xavier demands. a tear falls from my eye. the last thing i wanted to do was hurt rowan. i feel embarrassed, so i am reluctant to tell him the story. however, his arm is pressing against my throat, so my breathing is cutting short.
"i told him i love him" i whisper so quietly, i can barely hear it myself. yet, xavier seems to hear it, and his arm instantly drops, freeing me, and he steps back.
"what?" his whole tone has softened.
"do you actually love him?" he asks, very confused.
"yes." i reply confidently. and with that, he leaves me on the stairs, running back to his room.

of course, bianca instantly recognises something is wrong - benefits of having a siren friend i suppose, so i tell her the whole story. she knows exactly how to comfort me, so by the time i am ready to sleep i am feeling a lot better. once again, i stay awake for a while, but this time it is because i realise how i don't appreciate bianca enough. she is the best friend one could ask for.

the next day i walk out my dorm into xavier, who opens his mouth to say something, but then stops and stares at me in amusement for a few seconds before walking off. bit weird. i choose to ignore it and get my fencing kit together. as it is a saturday, there are no classes - only extracurriculars. i suppose this is good as i don't want to see rowan, although he does do fencing. this is the only thing i need to see him for during the whole day i guess. the school is visiting jericho later though, so there is still a chance i might see him. great.