Hoyoung
"Ok, I'll go get him," Dongheon says as he stands up from the couch all of me and my members are sitting. Taking a long breath to calm himself down, he leaves the living room.
Today is the day we decided to have a deep talk with Gyehyeon. Everyone of us.
We had to do it at some point but I somehow am not prepared for this. But I guess you will never really be prepared for such situations.
Nervous to the max I crouch in front of the tiny sofa trying not to bite my nails, one of my habits when I'm anxious.
The others are squeezed together on the couch, myself wondering how they can even breathe like that but the other option is siting on the floor which I don't have a problem with but they do.
You can feel the nervousness in the room and I hope that Dongheon and Gyeheon hurry so that we can get this done quickly.
As if they've read my mind, the two enter the living room, Dongheon leading the way and a disinterested Gyeheon following him.
When Yeonho notices there's no comfortable place to sit on, he stands up fast, letting Gyehyeon sit down instead and taking place next to me on the floor while Dongheon just stands.
During that nobody is saying a word and the tension is nearly killing me.
Expectantly I glance at Gyeheon waiting for him to start talking but he doesn't, he just blankly stares at something.
Minchan clears his throat, the noise sounding way to loud.
This makes Dongheon who seemed hesitant before speak up.
"So, uhm we wanted to talk to you," he starts, waiting for Gyehyeon to look at him.
"You already told me that," Gyeheon answers lamely, looking at Dongheon so blankly that it is almost scary.
"Yes", Dongheon says awkwardly, then he takes up the courage and starts saying what is need to be said.
"So.. we've noticed that you've constantly been staying in your room for a long time now. I mean you've always liked to do things on your own but we'd still see you in the living room talking to us. It's okay if you sometimes need time for yourself. We understand that. But not like this. Gyhehyeon, you've changed. Maybe you haven't noticed but you did change...And..not in a good way," Dongheon explains, his voice breaking at some parts.
I'm very grateful to him for talking. I don't think I could have done this.
"I don't intend to hurt you by saying this but do you think this is normal? Because I think it' not. And we don't want you to break. Don't disintegrate into a pile of dust. Because dust is something that can just fly away easily, even at the smallest wind. And then it's gone. Maybe you will be gone. So we can't just keep this going on," Dongheon adds, looking at Gyeheon desperately while waiting for him to show any reaction.
Scared I turn my head to look at Gyehyeon too.
His jaw is tense and he avoids any eye contact.
At first I think he won't say anything but then he does.
"And what do you want me to do? I don't want to be like this either. But I can't help it. I just feel like doing what I do. And later on I wonder why I'm like that. I want it to stop but it's not easy", he mutters with a seemingly composed voice but you can hear the emotions in it if you listen closely.
He sounds confused, scared, broken.
Worriedly I feel the urge to take his hand. But I'm afraid he'll reject me so I don't actually take it.
"Maybe you should go see a therapist," Minchan means quietly while playing with his ring, one of his habits when he's tensed.
As Minchan himself has had panic disorder diagnosed over two years ago, he has been seeing a therapist regularly and it seemed to help him get though hard times a lot.
"It could help you," he insists taking Gyehyeon's hand and squeezing it lightly to show his comfort and support.
Gyehyeon seems to process everything, to think through our words and we give him the time to do so.
When he raises his voice, I can feel my heart start beating rapidly because I can't predict what answer he'll give us.
Gyeheon takes a shaky breath before stating his decision.
"Ok", he starts, trying to sound confidently but kind of failing.
"Ok," he then repeats, "I'll go see a therapist."
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