Love Me To Death..

Chapter 19. Are you okay???

"Zhan-ge? Zhan-ge?" Dark eyes turned to Yibo's and the faraway look in them caused Yibo's heart to sink. "Yeah?"  "We've reached", Yibo supplied softly and Zhan's brows furrowed as they focused on his surroundings. "Sorry. I...I didn't realize we were here", Zhan mumbled fussing with the seatbelt and Yibo couldn't help himself. He laid his hand over Zhan's to cease the movement and feeling how cold Zhan's hands were, held them tight. Xiao Zhan had been quiet the entire ride home, staring out of the window not saying anything and although Yibo had wanted to, he hadn't been able to break the silence between them, too afraid of what might come out of his mouth. The young detective's head was still filled with the images of Zhan and the Death Angel, his imagination taking Yibo to places he didn't want to go and Yibo knew anything he said would only reflect how terrified he was. The bone-deep fear in his gut refused to leave him but seeing the look in Zhan's eyes...Yibo wanted to ease the elder's heart. Knowing how close he had come to that sadistic bastard had to be hounding Zhan. Zhan had seen what The Death Angel did to his victims. Had taken apart every single injury and recorded everything. Yibo couldn't imagine what was going through Zhan's head right now. Was Zhan seeing himself as a victim too? Were there images in Zhan's head too? Yibo didn't like the thought of Zhan being scared and troubled. He wanted Zhan to relax, to feel safe but he wasn't sure where to start. The day had been pretty fucked up and honestly, Yibo wasn't sure who among the two of them was more shaken up.

"Are you okay?", he questioned softly but got no response, and his features morphed into a frown. "Zhan-ge? Are you okay?", Yibo pressed and Zhan heaved out a breath after several heartbeats before nodding his head slightly. Silence stretched between them with Zhan's eyes moving to his apartment building, his gaze still unfocused and when Zhan moved again to leave the car, Yibo held him still. "Talk to me, Zhan-ge." The pleading tone had dark eyes clashing with Yibo's before Zhan's head turned to his lap. A moment or more and Zhan was staring at Yibo again with his dark, almond eyes. Only this time Zhan's eyes hid his true feelings. "I am fine, Bobo. Don't worry. I'll-uh...see you at the precinct tomorrow. Good night." The soft dismissal did nothing but make Yibo even more determined to chase Zhan's worries away and his grip on the doctor's hand tightened. "You don't have to come to work tomorrow. You can take a few days off. The officers will be out here and guard you. Take as long as you want, Zhan-ge." Zhan didn't respond to the words his gaze moving away from Yibo again and Yibo sighed. "Zhan." The gentle tone had Xiao Zhan biting his lip and before the elder could stop himself, words started to pour out of his mouth.

"I can't shake that feeling off. He was out there to kill me. He followed me and would've dragged me into that alley the way he did Deng Shu. That night...I was drunk, staggering through those streets unaware that he was right behind me. I...I should have noticed, Yibo. If only I had seen something...maybe I could've helped with this investigation more."  "You had no reason to think he was behind you, Zhan-ge."  Somewhere deep inside him, Zhan knew what Yibo said made sense. There was no way Zhan would've made the connection. "We don't even know why he was following me that night. We have all read the files on him. I don't fit the profile of the people he usually goes after. I don't know why he was there that night. Maybe we made a mistake. Maybe I wasn't his target at all."  The words sounded desperate to Zhan himself and he let out a frustrated sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. "I...I don't know what to think, Yibo. There are too many questions in my head and I can't seem to make sense of any of them." "You don't have to think about those answers tonight. Just rest for a while. You need to process this. Stay home and-"  "I am not made of glass, Yibo", Zhan cut in firmly, and for the first time that night, Zhan's gaze focused on Yibo. The hard gaze didn't hold any fear, it held conviction.

"The footage did shock me. My head filled with possibilities and yes, I know you think I could have been his next victim. But, I am not going to hole up somewhere. If you think I am going to hide away because of what happened, let me tell you that I won't. I am not that fragile. I have a job to do. I need to help you put that man behind bars and I will. You don't have to deal with me this way. Don't talk to me as if you're afraid I'll break. I am stronger than this."  Zhan's eyes held Yibo's and although he felt proud hearing the determination in the elder's tone, Yibo wondered if Zhan knew how easily Yibo could read him. It annoyed Yibo as well sometimes. When it came to Xiao Zhan, Yibo saw too much, observed too much, and knew too much. Even now when Zhan was trying to stay strong and put on his brave face, Yibo could see the traces of apprehension lingering in those dark eyes. Even though Zhan's gaze was unfocused, his eyes were still darting around as if afraid that someone would jump out of the shadows. From somewhere deep within him, an urge to wrap Zhan in his arms and hide him away from the world rose in Yibo and the young man stomped on his desires knowing he couldn't let his feelings muddle with his head. He couldn't let this get personal. 'It already is', came a voice from within him and Yibo ignored it. "Dr. Zi Yi agrees with me. She said he might come after you again. That someone like him won't let this go", Yibo's tone was grave and Zhan could see the restrained anger in the younger man's form. Yibo sat in his seat stiffly, his hands clenching around the steering wheel, and the way his jaw was locked, Zhan could see how pissed Yibo was. "But, why?", Zhan muttered and silence followed his words because neither of them have an answer. Yibo's phone rang suddenly and Zhan noticed how Yibo stiffened when he saw the name on the screen. He saw Yibo decline the call and Zhan's eyes turned away from the younger.