The Sapphic Christmas

24th December. part 1

"Will you be there as my friend or as William's..." I don't know who he's to my brother? Date, boyfriend, slut? I'm sorry, it's rude. Well, it's kind of true...

"I can be both at the same time" I know I look sarcastic; he continues. "I'll be like a friend to both of you. Will doesn't want to come out on Christmas eve."

"Okay. You could come anyway, you're not my subject to do whatever I say."

"I know, I didn't mean it like this. Will it be okay with you?" There's awkwardness between us, I don't like it. We're the best friends, but he's ruining everything for my brother... and I help him with it by being mean.

"It's okay with me, I don't care." He blinks, nods and turns to window. I don't get why he's upset. "Hey, it's really fine. My mother loves you. I'm pretty sure she thought we're dating back to high school. Well, one of her children does date you, so it's pretty close." I feel warm when he smiles. I know we'll be okay. Our friendship will change definitely, but we'll be fine.

"How are you?"

"Fine, you?"

We drive to my parents' house. They visibly glad to see him, now I notice even William smiles. He becomes cold rock when he says hi to him and hugs, but I can see the light in his eyes. It doesn't mean I forgive him, I still don't come close to him, but it's easier now.

By the time, they've already began to think about how to seat the guests. I even help a little, so I don't feel useless on Christmas Eve. After that, parents ask to help them to set the table, because some of the relatives will arrive before the dinner, and they'll have to be fed. I do everything I'm asked without question. I think even my dad likes it, he even smiles a little.

When there's a short pause between the arrival of relatives and preparations for the festive lunch and dinner, I move all the gifts under the Christmas tree, where a lot of boxes and packages have already stood. I want to chat with Andy, tell him about Ella, but I can't find him anywhere. William isn't found anywhere either. Only at the moment I get that I've heard my brother moan at the phone. It's too much information for me, so I go back to work to distract the thoughts.

Aunt Marie arrives with her children: Annabelle, fifteen years old, and John, seventeen. Since I have a relatively small age difference with them (less than with all other cousins), I suggest to go for a walk and drive around the area with me. No one objects, so we decide to go somewhere far away to have a quiet snowball fight and take a break from the pressure. Holidays are a wonderful time of the year, but it's also a very stressful time. Especially it's hard for students.

"Are you dating anyone?" Why do they care? We haven't seen each other in about a year, and that's the only thing they want to know? I'm disappointed.

"Not. Why?"

"Just if there's someone, we'd be ready to get to know them." John answers for his sister. "You seem to have been talking to some girl, haven't you? Mom said your mom told her something. Will she be here tonight?"

"I'm not surprised they discussed it." I still get angry, there's no privacy in the family. Why doesn't they see the thing around my brother? Well, I didn't notice it either, but that's different. "We're just friends, she celebrates the holiday with closer people." Although I don't know for sure. Ella's definitely not the person who would spend such holiday alone. I think I can ask her about it later. "How's school?"

"Oh, please, not this again." They roll their eyes in unison. I know the feeling when everyone asks same questions over and over again, but the answer stays the same. To be honest, I was going to skip it, but... nah, it's fun. "Can you tell me, does that girl we were talking about, by any chance, have the name Ella?"