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A Walk Down Memory Lane (Part 2)

So after my first encounter with Alex, I only ever saw him a few more times in my life but from a distance and of course, at their live shows. I had become a fan of Jakes electronic music and his band, to which Alex was the mixer/producer and always on keyboards or drums. At some point, Mark got replaced by some other guy and after they had success in other parts of the country, I had slowly distanced myself from their sound. I never put too much thought into it, but during those early shows, Alex always seemed to pick me from the crowd at some point and, I may be delusional here, but he always seemed to be staring right in my direction. Every time, I'd be smiling from ear to ear and he'd give me that half dazed smile back my way that would just make me melt in my seat.

Why did his stupid smile have this affect on me? I had a boyfriend by then so why was I still getting butterflies from him?

***

And so, after university, I was on my own. After my first boyfriend and I broke up, I had moved on. Never once thought much about Alex or his band. If anything, I had completely forgotten about them. At this point in my life, my old highschool friends and I had moved on. Life had changed a lot. I met another few guys that I had relationships with and sadly, didn't work out.

In the aftermath of breakups, I tried building a bit of my confidence back and here I was, close to a decades later, the happiest I'd been, free to find love once again. I won't get into too much details in the in-betweens since this story really starts here.

***

About a month ago, I awoke from a dream about Alex. Someone I hadn't really thought about much in such a long time. It was a bit sexual, intense, raw and overwhelmingly lustful. I hadn't felt like that about a dream in a really long time. It was something that left me thinking about him for days to come and it was driving me insane.

I took to social media to find out more about him. Come to find out, he had become a little more renown then I thought. Even a Wikipedia page came up on him.

"Good for him" I thought.

But at this point, every single photo of him gave me butterflies. Was I going insane? What was going on with me? I had to get off the internet. I never thought of him this much before so why was he all of a sudden taking over my brain? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? I didn't want to be some stalker about it so I tried to put it out of my mind. I had last heard some years back that he was married and had a kid so why was this even of interest to me all of a sudden?

Ugh. Let's just forget about this shall we? I thought.