Holding On

ᴛʜɪʀᴛᴇᴇɴ

Silence more poignant than Zain had ever experienced in his life settled between them. Within thee time that it lasted, he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. A weight that had been straining every fibre of his body.

With it gone, he felt an exhaustion that made his shoulders slouch. Walking with the gait of a man who felt his life was spinning out of control, he located one of Emma's couches in the living room and sank with a sigh.

Bending over, he placed his elbows on his knees, running his hands wearily through his hair. The gravity of the revelation he'd made was not lost on him.

Zain finally lifted his head to gauge Emma's response and found her already looking at him. A cavalcade of emotions runs through her eyes. From disbelief to shock to anger to sadness and then back to disbelief.

“I don't believe you.” She stated with the conviction of someone who refused to accept reality.

Zain sighed. “I don't exactly know why I would lie about something so life-transforming.”

“Because you want me out of your life and you will do anything to achieve that.” Her reply came accusingly.

A dull ache registered in his heart. If only she knew how badly he wanted to be with her. How different he wished things were.

For the first time, he let his guarded walls crumble around him. Those walls that'd always done such a wonderful job at disguising how he truly felt from her. Now he felt raw, exposed.

Emma's teary eyes widened, her hand flying to cover her mouth. “But ho... When? How... What di...disease is that?”

So the reality was finally sinking in. Good. Zain forced himself to speak even though his throat felt so barbed.

“It's called the Reuben Syndrome, named after the guy who discovered it. You might not have heard of it because it's a very rare disease. Happens to about ten in every one million people. But it's been around for several years.”

He watched her silently, every step she took before she finally sunk beside him on the couch. Her face was a display of the fact that she wished everything was a nightmare. So did he.

“How did you... When did you?”

“I've had it for eight months, but I found out four months ago. I'd been having spells of dizziness. They didn't occur often, perhaps twice a week, but I knew it wasn't normal. The time I knew I had to be alarmed was when I bled from the nose one day and fainted. I went to the hospital after waking. Somehow, the doctor who checked on me had an instinct, and they brought in an expert who diagnosed me with the Syndrome.”

Emma looked at him. “But I... But I've never seen you...bleed or dizzy or anything else.”

“I take medication for the dizziness. I hid it well from you. For bleeding, it occurs rarely. But I do feel it a few hours before it happens so I can avoid people and be alone when it does. I guess I was just very lucky that it never occurred around you.”

He continued speaking, just to feed the silence. “As for the how, nobody really knows. It can't be transmitted. It's like cancer, but it can start from anywhere, and then eat you up little by little. No cure has been found yet.”

Minutes ticked by in silence. The air was thick and melancholy and heavy, and Zain bristled to know what was going through Emma's mind. She was probably coming to the realisation that they couldn't be together. The thought scourged him.

He hurried to say it before she would do so. “So now you know why we can't be together. That's why I got so upset when I cummed inside you. In a few years, I'll be incapacitated and barely able to interact. That's not exactly daddy material.”