We had a lot to work out and I just didn't want to give him even a hint that I wanted to get closer to him again.
Granted, I kissed him.
That was a fucking mistake. I knew he kissed me first a couple days ago but I should have been stronger than that.
For my own heart, I needed to be stronger.
I sat in the room for a long time, boredom consuming me. I just wanted to get these tests done so I could get out of here.
Being in the hospital made me anxious and upset. It's been years since I was hospitalized from a seizure.
I was 7 years old when I was diagnosed with my epilepsy. I was in the grocery store with my dad when it happened. I remember staying in the hospital for three days because it was so bad.
I hoped this one wasn't like that.
"Okay, sweetie. Sorry for the wait." The doctor said as she came into the room. "It's okay. I feel a lot less foggy." I said with a sigh and brushed my hair behind my ears.
"That's good! Let's see if you can answer these questions." She said and grabbed a little flashlight.
"What's your name?" She asked and shined the light in my eyes, checking my pupils.
"Juliana White." I said as she nodded. "Okay, do you remember what happened?" She asked and continued to examine me.
"I have epilepsy and had a bad seizure." I explained as she nodded. "That explains a lot. Are you on any medication for your seizures?" She asked as I nodded.
"Brivaracetam." I said as she nodded. "Okay. So I'm still gonna want to run a couple of tests just to make sure everything is okay internally. Is that alright?" The doctor asked.
"That's fine." I said with a sigh. I was worried about the cost of everything but I had no problem making Colby pay for this visit.
He was stressing me out so much that I was having these bad seizures.
I spent the next couple hours going through all the tests and scans. I hated that I had to do this but was honestly feeling the safest I have felt in a long time.
It was insane to me that Colby brought me to a hospital because I knew that was a huge no no in the crime world, but it showed how much he cared.
It was fucking annoying.
"Alright, Juliana. It looks like everything came back clear. There's not much I can do for you here, but if the bad seizures persist, come back." The doctor explained as I nodded.
"Thanks." I said quietly and sat up. "I'll get your discharge papers set up and Nicole will be able to sign you out." She said then left the room.
I sighed and grabbed Colby's phone, texting him to tell him I was ready to be picked up.
I honestly wanted to run away so I wouldn't have to deal with the feelings I was having. Being around Colby was bad for me for many ways but my feelings for him were what would get me killed.
The last time we fell for eachother I literally got shot and nearly died.
I knew if I fell as hard as I did last time, I would do something like that again.
I shook my head, looking down at the phone to see he responded.
Okay, sweetheart. Be there soon.
I rolled my eyes at the pet name then waited for the nurse to come back.
"Alright, these are for you." The nurse said as she came into the room. I nodded and signed the papers then stood up and stretched.
I was exhausted from all the tests and I was far from excited to talk to Colby.
I knew we would have to talk about what happened but I didn't want to deal with it.
I wanted him to just leave me the fuck alone.
When I got outside, I sat on a bench so I could wait for Colby to get here.
I was surprisingly really calm about being alone. I didn't care if someone would come snatch me up and take me away.
It would honestly be convenient at this point.
While I was waiting there, Colby's phone buzzed showing a text from an unsaved number.
Hey, baby. Haven't heard from you in a while. Can I come over?
I pursed my lips, reading the text over and over. My fingers were itching to reply or go through his phone to see what he's been up to.
Morally I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help it.
I first went to his texts, seeing nothing interesting at all. Colby carried himself like he was confident and had a lot of people around him, but deep down he was a loner and kept his circle small.
However, I was surprised to see that there weren't a lot of booty call texts. I knew that he didn't have friends but he sure did have a lot of girls who wanted to sleep with him.
When I went to his contacts I felt my heart shift. He had deleted all of the contacts that were previously numbered.
I tried to not assume that it was because I was in his life again.
Surely he did it for a reason but it couldn't be because of that. I needed it to be for any reason but that.
The fact that he did it though was going to make this conversation we were going to have even harder.
He was falling faster than I was.
