A Flowers Enigma

13- Memories

Staying in the bathroom wasn't the smartest idea ever. Multiple girls that smelt of a Bath and Body works store mixed with cigarettes walked in. They began smoking in one of the stalls, laughing and giggling.

The smell of smoke made me gag and cough. Not only did it smell bad, but it smelt like the armpits of a sweaty middle aged man. It was intoxicating. I never knew why people enjoyed stuff like that. It's so gross. The high never lasts long, and it does more harm than help.

Too many times growing up did I see the negative effect of drugs and alcohol on people. Wives being beat because their husband won't lay off the rum, coming to us for safety and to get their hair fixed up. Teenagers so high they can't even tell the difference from an instruction manual to a book. Children losing parents that just want to be in the clouds.

I know I sound like some over protective and judgemental Karen. But can you blame you me? I've seen too much. And my dad... Once I pieced up the puzzle, I knew it was all a lie. Him being too lazy to play games with me when, the whole time, he was just drunk. My childhood will never be the same because of him.

So I leave the bathroom, avoiding the stares and whispers of people who recognized my face. As soon as I step out, I see Jasper leaning against the wall by the girls bathroom. I try to ignore him, but he obviously wants to talk to me. I follow him to the other side of the building quietly, where it was nothing but walls and windows and silence.

"Yannara's right. Your not obligated to be faithful to me." He stares ahead at the wall, eyes devoid of emotion. Like usual.

"You... heard that?" I ask, shocked. He finally looks at me, and I look away. Memories that I tried so hard to repress from yesterday came bubbling up. I couldn't look at his eyes now after seeing how desperate they could look. How vulnerable and sensual.

"I heard everything. I see everything. It's my school, my castle, and soon my country. Surely you know that." He forces me to make eye contact, searching for my gaze if it ever wandered away.

"I tried to resist her Jasper-"

"It doesn't matter!" He snaps, thick brows furrowed in irritation. He looks away for a second, calming himself down just as quickly as he snapped. It was almost as if someone inside him at jumped out at my words.

"This marriage was against your will. I will not take away your... sexual will as well. All I ask is that you be a good Queen and wife. When it is time to produce an heir, you will." Bile rises in my throat. The idea of being a Queen and wife after freshly turning 18...it made me sick. But I pushed it aside for later dwellings.

He glares at me, his jaw twitching. It felt as if he too was pushing aside every emotion he had to say this. To be mature and settle things like an adult, like a King. I could see in his citrine eyes he wanted to say more, do more, but a muzzle was at his lips.

"I won't do anything with her anymore. I'll make sure of it." I say, flipping my hair over my shoulder nervously. It was now 8:54, six minutes until the bell rings. Six minutes left for us to talk privately, and then act as if we don't know each other.

"...Good. Though what you do is what you do, it'll give you a better image if you don't go around fucking whoever will fuck you." He says, and I sense a bit of relief in his voice.

"So what? I'm the only one out of the both of us that'll remain faithful?" I ask. He was being an asshole again- I wasn't liking it one bit. The discreet slut shaming was iffy towards me.

"I will be faithful as long as you are."

"Then what about our romantic life? We both don't like each other, obviously. Will we just marry and have no relationships with anyone or each other? Die virgins?"