A CHRISTMAS WISH

Chapter 19: Discovery;

But she would have to do it sooner or later she told herself, maybe in ten minutes or so, for now she’d continue to use the dress as a makeshift shawl, she had bigger things to think about.

Well not really things, but “THING”, over two hundred pounds of muscle and sinew and raging testosterone.

How the hell was she supposed to tell him that she didn’t want a sexual relationship with him? The only understanding he had shown her thus far had been that one little sentence he had spoken a little while ago and Sarah had a sinking feeling that was the full extent of his particular store of compassion. She doubted very much he would be satisfied with one little peck goodnight, and she didn’t even want to give him that for fear it would turn out like the other night.

She had deluded herself into thinking that the night of the feast was just a fluke, an aberration, that she had reacted to his kiss because he had caught her be surprise. But now sitting here with the gleaming full moon overhead and the dark water at her feet Sarah couldn’t quite force herself to believe that.

The problem was that she wanted him, and she had to admit that.

Sarah was too honest to separate her emotions from sex. Maybe the reason why she had never enjoyed the physical aspect of the relationship with her past boyfriends was because she didn’t want to have sex just for the sake of sex. She wanted it to mean something. She had always secretly dreamed of that rarest of things; she had always wanted to make “love”.

Though she often scoffed at the emotion in public, with her mother or the few friends that she had had in her real life, deep inside it was what she had always yearned for. Sarah had never been able to separate sex and love from each other, and she had never fallen in love with any of the jerks she had gone out with, therefore she had never really enjoyed having sex either. To her it had always been a chore, and an unwanted one at that.   

Which brought her to her current conundrum, how the hell had all her previous hang-ups been shattered by a single kiss?

Because with Iain she did want to take it to the next level, even though right now she despised him with a vengeance. 

She wanted to run away from him and be ravished by him in equal measure and this wild jumble of contradictory emotions was doing her head in. It made her question everything she had thought about herself up until this point.

“Tis getting’ late,”

Sarah whirled around clutching a hand to her chest in alarmed surprise. God damn it! the man had the most awful timing imaginable, he had nearly scared the living daylights out of her. She had to hold onto the rock under her to stop herself from falling into the pond.

He really was the wolf, skulking in the shadows, catching people unawares. Well she for one would have none of it,

“You startled me half to death. What do you think you are about creeping up on people like that?.”

He didn’t answer; instead he stood there with his muscled forearms crossed over his chest and a bland expression on his face.

“Ye are easily frightened, lass,” He finally drawled, “Tis certainly a grave failing.”

Why the ignorant arse, Sarah bristled.

He was making it sound like she was the one to blame. He had no manners whatsoever; instead of saying sorry he was looking at her like she was a weak little nobody who got her panties in a bunch over the smallest of things. Well he would soon learn otherwise.

“What do you want?”

He merely raised a single heavy brow at the blatantly antagonistic tone in her voice, but he ignored it, “Tis getting late lass, we leave at dawn. Ye best collect yer belongings, tis time to sleep.”