Al in Wonderland: You've Gone Mad

Chapter 25: Once Told

[TRIGGER WARNING: some scenes, or words, may be too much for certain readers, reader discretion is advised]

The silence in the room was heavy. Not a word. Not a sound. No thoughts ran through.

Al stared at the cup of tea in his hands while Bell wrapped Cheshire's hand having cleaned it, stitched it, the paper knife had been stuck straight through. It was numbed by the ointment. He looked at Al who nearly dropped the cup, but Vaan grabbed it and held it up to him so he could drink, but Al turned his head away the tears came again.

Cheshire sighed softly, thanked Bell, and got up from the chair going to Al. He took the cup from Vaan and smiled switching places with him.

Vaan stood, going to Bell, both frowning, concerned then bowed leaving.

Al wouldn't look at him, this wasn't new. So instead of forcing him, Cheshire set down the cup and touched his cheek feeling he was warm. In a calm voice he whispered his name, "Al." Al frowned deeply, leaning to this touch he wanted to keep, but upon looking at Cheshire's injured hand, Al now knew why it was best he didn't. "It-"

"No..." his voice was shaking, he was breaking. His chest was so tight he couldn't bear it anymore. Before he was lied to once more, told it would be alright, he shook his head. Lowering his shame into his hand. "... Please.... no..."

".... Okay." Cheshire said nothing more, simply sat there quietly. He touched Al's hands taking them from covering his face.

He did not cry, rather have a blank stare that didn't change, even as the tears came down. There was nothing to explain what he felt as these dark golden eyes looked up at Cheshire.

The emptiness in him.

Al took his hands away from Cheshire who frowned.

"I can't do this anymore." He admitted in a low whisper as he gazed into Cheshire's different colored eyes. "Please... just let me go." Al begged.

Cheshire's eyes widened, "Al-"

Al shook his head not wanting to hear it, he held his hands close to his chest as the pain worsened. "What... what is living... if I can't...." He wanted to feel the knife in his chest, he wanted to feel the blood inside pour out. "I don't want to suffer anymore... so please..." Al was trembling, "please just let me go already!" He tried making a break for the paper knife on the table Bell treated Cheshire at, but Cheshire grabbed him before he could escape.

"No!" He held onto him as Al fought him to let go. "I won't let you die like this Al!" Cheshire struggled to pull him back, but managed. "Please let's talk about it!!"

"Why do you insist I stay?! Why should I keep suffering like this?! I don't want to do it anymore!"

"Dying won't fix anything!" Cheshire held him tighter,

Al's found it harder and harder to struggle. His strength being taken my his ceasing will to go on. "It'll fix me!!"

"Al-"

"All I do is cause people pain! All I do is bring misfortune! I'm better off beside her-laying-" he sobbed, no will left fight, "laying six feet under..... where I can finally... just... sleep."

"That's not true, Al-"

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled, "No one wants me!! No one needs me!! Why should I-"

"I need you!" Cheshire shouted over him. Al was silenced by this. "Al.. I need you." He felt Al wasn't shrugging anymore and loosened his hold on him slightly. Al couldn't even stand anymore, so Cheshire lowered him to the floor sitting him down. "Please.. don't do this."