Ms. Swan, Forgive Me

Regrets

I walked back towards the Cullen's mansion and did not say a word to him. I could feel him following me but keeping a distance from me.

I understood why he did that, I was the monster now. I should be fear and kept at a distance.

What hurt the most was that I enjoyed the thrill, the rush of feeding off that poor human. I did not care if he was in any pain.

All I wanted was to feed and hear his last heartbeat.

What a creature was I, so heartless.

I could hear the stream near the house, and I could see the tree I killed while learning how to jump—vampire speed of course—.

They were all waiting for me, with sad and pity faces.

Alice, held a long shirt for me to take, and put over my ruined dress. I looked down at my state of dress, and I was disgusted.

I had blood splattered from all sides of my once beautiful dress. Some drying but still dripping from it.

I know for sure this dress was history. I could never take all this stains out without remembering all that happened today. Also I'm sure no amount of cleaning products could take the wonderful human blood smell from it.

Esme came up to me and pulled me into a hug, where she held me for what seemed an eternity. I hugged her back just as hart and started dry sobbing.

This was when I finally broke down, right in front of all the Cullen's without a care.

She then picked me up and took me to my room where she prepared a bath for me and then undressed me.

I was in a state of shock that I did not try to be more modest about the whole situation.

I was then taken out of my 'shock' state when I felt warm water all around me and soft, caring, granite hands on my temples washing away any remains of blood off my hair.

Then she presided to bathe me a whole.

That's when I finally felt safe and truly care for, she treated me with more love then I ever been treated. My dad loved me but its never the same as having a mothers love. And she did that.

While Esme helped me pickout something wear, I could hear Carlisle talking and trying to defuse the situation that was going on downstairs.

I could tell that Alice and Rosalie where too mad at Edward for not checking the perimeter before letting me 'loose' as they said.

Carlisle was very disappointed in Edward and they all now where making plans for us to move.

Mainly because of my death and now me feeding on a hiker in the Olympic Peninsula maybe on the edge of the land but I was two hours away and it may be very suspicious.

They were glad I bit into the human more than one time, though, because it could pass like an animal attack.

And also the fact that he was almost dead when I bit into him, would mean that whoever finds him first—the police or some other hiker—could think that he died before he was fed on by any predators.

After they finally decided where we were going to move to they all went to their rooms to pack and Alice told me she was going to pack for me.

I just sat by my window and looked into the picturistic background of the sun setting through the Olympic Peninsula.

I would be saying goodbye to this beautiful scene soon.

But I was looking forward to leaving Forks it held to many bad memories. Mainly my transformation and then the fact that I killed a human being today. I bet now, Jasper is not questioning life anymore.

Today I acted like any other newborn would act.

I killed savagely.

And I'm still thirsty.

But I did regret everything.

—————-

Hey guys i'm soo sorry!

I have Senior Project this semester and i been soo busy.... I know no excuse.

But um, summer is coming so i will be updating much faster than before.....

Love ya!

Clara Rourk

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