Kool-Aid Man x Hair

The Pope & the Philosopher

Marie Sue had found herself in Venizia, Canada. It was a beautiful, very religieous city. There were crosses & paintings of Jesus & Waluigi everywhere, here. There were also many natural elements, as well, such as plants spread amongst the buildings & a natural river that runs straight through the city. In the center of Venizia, there was a grand palace. This was the residence of The Pope.

When Marie Sue landed in front of the palace, two guards walked up to her. "What is your business here, missy?" one of the guards asked her, meanly. "I-I-I'm h-here to see t-t-t-t-t-The Pope." Marie replied. "Well, since you are so pretty, I guess we can let you in." the other guard said. They opened the gate for Marie, & she sauntered in.

Marie knew exactly where to find The Pope even though she had never been here before. That's 'cause she's quirky & not like other girls. She entered The Pope's throne room.

"Marianne Samantha Krystal-Opal Violet Loretta Sarah Sue," The Pope began, "I've been expecting your arrival." The Pope's whiskers fluttered, & he stated, "It is time for your test."

Somone in a nun's-uniform-made-sexier jumped down from the ceiling's rafters with sharpened-lipstick throwing-knives. It was none other than... Sister James Charles. He was a very famous nun, assassin, & fashion model.

Marie dodged his first attack, & she brought out her sythe. This sythe is a mystical artifact bound to Marie's bracelet. This bracelet was given to her by her father before he died. Her mother also gave her a necklace, which enhanced Maries's already incredible power. These two were Marie's most prized posessions.

Sister Charles threw his sharpened-lipsticks at Marie, but she cut all 132 of them cleanly in half in a quarter of a second. Marie then rushed in for the final blow to knock Sister Charles out, but he took out a shaving cream bottle. Sister Charles then activated his HOLLIE-MAJICKAL ability, Canned Beauty.

Canned beauty allows Sister Charles to manipulate the contents of shaving cream bottles & perfume or cologne bottles. By this, I mean he can turn the contents into beautying cream/mist or uglying cream/mist. This effectively allows Sister Charles to freely manipulate his opponent's or his own strength, either by making them really old, ugly, & weak, or by making them youthful, beautiful, & strong.

He shot his thick, warm uglying cream all over Marie. "Hmm; it seems that you have failed." Sister Charles states, unimpressed. However, the uglying cream actually had no effect, & Marie knocked Sister Charles out with the hilt of her sythe! This is because she is a girlboss.

"Excellent!" The Pope exclaims. "The fax machine ate a creepypasta cookie, and that created politics. Take you to a therapist, because a diagnosis is a potential bonus. As we want to say here. But we also know the standard response to this argument. You argue with her. Green Dolphin writer after July Cthulhu. Perfect for a morning tailgating date. Spend some quality time at an ancient zigzag loom and six to nine cups of steaming coffee. Make it less of a softball space than an era. The tallest member of the Kansas City Chiefs is 6-foot-8. You can take care of yourself and your sanity in your own time. Or you can bring him to our time, because we think you'll like our stolen wisdom." is what The Pope's television-headed golden retriever said.

"OMG, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I did it?!" Marie Sue asked The Pope with glee.

"Indeed, you have passed. However, there is one last thing I must see. Do you have the holy golden gun from Jesus' boyfriend, Voldemort?" Marie's sparkling yellow eyes sparkled. She took out the holy gun, & showed it to The Pope. Her violet eyes shimmered once more.

The Pope then agrees that Marie is the chosen one. So, they go to Jupiter to find the power needed to defeat the Kool-Aid Man. This is because the wisest being in existence lives on Jupiter. In fact, he is omniscient (This is ironic, because people normally say that you 'go to Jupiter to get more stupider'). When the get there, they find a meditating velociraptor. This is strange, as velociraptors went exstinct 2 years ago.

"We-" The Pope begins. "YOU HAVE COME SEEKING THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WEAKNESS." the great Philosoraptor interrupts, telepathically. "Indeed, my lord, we-" "BRING ME PIZZA, & I SHALL GRANT YOU THE KNOWLEDGE YOU SEEK." "Wait, why pizza?" The Pope asks. The Philosoraptor remains silent. "WELL, UM..." the Philosoraptor begins his line. "I HAVE A PIZZA FETISH."

Out of all the answers he could have given, that was not the answer Marie, The Pope, TI-Dough (the television headed dog), or Sister Charles (because they brought him along & he woke up already) expected. They were all mortifed. Yet, the Philosoraptor did not finch, nor did he sweat. He did not care, since he knew everthing.

"THE SECRET TO HIS WEAKNESS IS AN ANCIENT HOLLIE-MAJICK SPELL THAT HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR MIND." The Philosoraptor said. "Um, thanks...?" The Pope said, summoning three boxes of pizza.

When they got back to [EaRtH], Marie remarked that that was a strange trip. The Pope then procceded to imbue Marie's sythe with the MAJICK that would allow her to kill Kool-Aid Man. He then said, "Well, if you want to here strange, then listen to this story..."