Kool-Aid Man was busy, today, in an alleyway. He was murdering a coworker's grandma. It just so happens, though, that this grandma was a soldier in both world wars, so she's not going down without a fight. As Kool-Aid Man tried to stab her with a sword, she did a front flip over him. They continue to battle for hours. However, as Kool-Aid Man is a very ancient thing, he as acquired many strange abilities. So, he decided to stop time to get 1 good hit on the grandma! She fell to the ground, defeated.
Around the corner, The Man Who Made The Beans observes their fight. The Man Who Made The Beans witnessed Kool-Aid Man's power, horrified. Due to this, he left to report back to the UCOF (United Council Of Food).
The Man Who Made The Beans is a very odd & mysterious person. However, the UCOF seems to trust him greatly to put him on a mission like this. In particular, Ronald McDonald trusts him.
The Man Who Made The Beans grew up in a very poor household. His parents were incredibely abusive to him & his siblings, both physically & verbally. His siblings were also rather abusive. He was the youngest memeber of his family. One day, he came home from "school" to find that his oldest sister had brutally killed his cat. Enraged, he murdered his entire family.
However, he eventually found solace with his life after many years of fear, anger, & torment, after that. Eventually, he invented beans.
He reported back to headquarters. "Kool-Aid Man apparently has an ability that allows him to either move with absurd speed," The Man Who Made The Beans began, "or to stop time."
"Well," Ronald speaks back to him, "send in Mr. Classified."
"Okay; as you wish, sir."
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Kool-Aid Man x Hair
FanfictionKool-Aid Man is a simple 400,000,000 year old glass of Kool-Aid who falls in love with someone's hair. Oh, & he's also a serial killer with mythical powers. I'm sure you get the idea; this story is bizarre & that's the point.
