I'm in my bed curled up, crying quietly into my pillow. I've had such a bad mental health day today. I woke up feeling like crap so I went over to dereks to cheer me up but that just made it worse.
He hates me. I don't know if he even wants to be in this relationship and it's killing me inside because I love him with my whole heart. I need him but I don't think he needs me.
My door opens and I hear the floor creek. I wipe my tears quickly and sit up. "Hello" Derek says. "Hi" I put on a smile.
"Um.. are you alright?" He asks. "Y-yeah" I can't help but start crying again. I curl back up, hiding my face. He comes over and carefully pulls himself onto the bed next to me.
He lays down. I sob into his shoulder as he hesitantly wraps his arms around me. I hug him tight.
"Why are you here?" I pull away slowly. "I wanted to see you" he says. I hug him tighter, kissing his cheek.
"Why are you upset?" He asks. "I'm just not having a good day" I say. "Oh" He says. "Did I upset you?" He asks. "A little bit" I say.
"How?" He asks. "I came over to see you earlier and all you did was complain about it" I say. "I didn't mean it" he says. I shrug.
"I apologise.. I didn't realise I hurt your feelings" he says. "Its okay sweetie" I rest my head on his shoulder.
"You know.." I sniffle, wiping my eyes. "We can go back to being just friends if you want.. I know you don't like our relationship, and I don't want to force you-" I say.
"No, I do like our relationship" he says. "You do?" I ask tearfully. He nods. "You promise?" I whisper. He locks our pinkies.
I sob quietly, wiping my tears. He kisses my lips quickly. "I love you" I cry, wrapping my arms tight around his neck, straddling him. "Me too" he says.
I sniffle, sitting next to him. I cuddle into him. I smile as I realise he's not let go of me yet and is still hugging my waist.
"Will you cuddle me for a bit while we watch TV?" I ask. "Of course" he whispers. I smile hugely, turning on the tv. "What do you want on?" I ask. "You can pick" he says. I look at him shocked. He never let's me pick. Ever.
I grin, putting something on. I entwine our fingers. My mom walks in. She stops. "Is he hugging you?" She asks. "I knowwww! Isn't it great?.. he's being so nice" I grin, cuddling into him.
"I'll go before I scare him off of you" she says. I giggle. She walks out. "Babe? You okay?" I ask as I look up at him and see hes got his eyes closed. "Shh, I'm in my happy place" He whispers. I giggle, rolling my eyes.
I kiss his lips softly. I smile, running my fingers through his hair. "Where's your happy place?" I grin. "Alone in my bedroom under the covers, curled up like a hotdog in its bun" he says. I giggle.
"I love you so much" I giggle, kissing his cheek. He's actually so dramatic but I find it cute. I cuddle into him and continue watching the movie, just enjoying the moment with him.
