Lost mate

14

Marcus pov:
The momentan my eyes find my tiny mate laying yet again with a breathing tube down her throat on the hospital bed, I cant help but whimper in sorrow. This is my fault. This sweet angel, that should only be handelt with the utmost care and treated like the perfect little Princess that she is, has to yet again fight for her life simply because I was dumb enough to think that my best friend would steal my mate. Even thought he has in fact his very own mate that he loves with all his heart and thought I deep down knew even in that Moment that he would Never do this to anyone. Still I reacted on instinct, which certainly made me look like a complete maniac.
No wonder my darling mate got so frightened as she saw me like that. The thought alone that she was afraid enough of me to completly ignore the immense pain she must of felt as her fresh stitches ripped open the second she curled her body into a small ball, makes my insides turn with uneasyness.

When Carlisle started to inform us on our princess condition i was petriefied to hear that she still isn't safe just now. Still Demetri and I keep on listening closely to everything he keeps on telling us. What surprises me however is when he, just like Edward had done not long ago, starts to comfort Demetri and me. Of course he also makes sure to let us know that we need to get our act together since our sweetheart needs us. And just when i heard him say that, i suddenly start to realice how right he is with his statement. Maybe she will scream and shout at us the moment she wakes up again, but right now, she needs us and i will be damned before i will let her down again. I will fight for her for as long as i am amongst the living! And even if she makes me leave her alone because she hates me, i will still look out for her and protect her. Even if it is going to be from afar, I don't care! Never ever, will i not be near her again! From now on she will forever be guarded by me, no matter if she likes it or not. This is definity way too important to be negotiated. With my mind Made up, i straighten my posture and my body starts to relax little by little. That very short second of calmnes however quickly gets ripped away from me and instead the feeling of complete terror and dread overcomes me as Carlisle stated that he will leave to feed for a bit. He thankfully right away trys to sooth us by informing us on the fact that he only will be in his office, still it felt as if the second he leaves this room my darling will need to get pulled back again into the OR and this time without that one Person who has saved her life the last two times she had to go there. After a few more minutes of him reassuring us that he will be right back, we let him leave, still the feeling of being on edge doesn't leave.
„Please tell me you feel as terrified as me." Demetri pleads with wide and panicked eyes. Not feeling able to speak right now, at least not without getting even more anxious, so instead i only nod my head in reply.
„Good." he whispers under his breath as a heavy sigh leaves him to at least get rid of some of the emotional stress he is currently feeling. His eyes wander longingly towards our seemingly peaceful sleeping mate.
„We," i start to say before I stop myself to clear my throat in an attempt to get my voice back. „We could take a seat by her side?" i ask him, since the need to be closer to her is nearly overwhelming me like nothing ever before. But at the same time i also am afraid that with us close by her side she might Start to panic again.
„We could, you know, only sit by her side without touching her? So she would, wouldn't panic?" Demetri stammers out unsure as well, yet after thinking about it, we both decide that we should at least try. Slowly we get towards her and take a seat. This alone makes me smile lovingly at our Sweet mate. The feeling of being this close by her side feels absolutely incredible! We both sigh in relieve when she simply stays asleep and her heartbeat stays the Same rhytmical melody as before.
When the door slowly opens i jump up and take a protective position in front of my mates bed, before even registering what I am doing. Demetri also stands right next to me, looking just as fight ready as me. Luckily there is no need to worry nor do we Need to prepare for a fight since it is only carlisle.
„Hey, i only ment to tell you guys that i am back on the station if you should need me." Carlisle simply says without even looking surprised at our fight ready stance. Quit the opposite even, he seems pretty much as if he wasn't expecting anything else at all.
„Thank you Carlisle." Demetri thanks him wholeheartedly. While Carlisle simply smiles at  us in understandment.
„Why don't you two Go back to your darling mate and keep her some company? I am sure she will appreciate some company." he says and nods towards the bed where we still stand in front of. At hearing that i look back to my sleeping mate with a soft smile.
„Do you think we will be able to hold her Hand? or is she going to panic again?" Demetri asks with honest curiosity yet worried what might happen if she indeed starts to panic once again. He seems to think for a bit before he shrugs his shoulder.
„I cant answer you that question. But why don't you just try it?" he says with an encouraging nod to do just that. Of course I would Love to do so, yet the fright of maybe hurting her by simply touching her hand makes me stay put.
„Marcus, nothing will happen to her simply because you guys touch her." he explains in reassurance. Still the uncertainty makes me stay.
„How about you take a seat by her Head and Tell her some things about your life instead. And when you feel ready you take your hand?" carlisle then asks with understanding eyes and to this i right away nod happily, it does sound reasonable.