To My Future Cheating Husband

LVII. So Sweet

"After some time," I said, "I realize that maybe you're right. Having some time to think did help cool things down."

"Seth-"

"Going to get there."

He nods.

My palms tightly wrap around the flower stems, "For a while now, I've been feeling very insecure when I see Mary and you together."

Eli puts a hand over mine, "We aren't like that."

"I know-" my voice cracks, "but, when you guys have these inside jokes. These meet up that no one knows about. These things together. I just feel...awful."

"I...I didn't know."

I gave him a strained smile, "I...I feel like I'm going crazy with these...these scenarios I keep making up in my head and, I keep wondering if-" For days, I keep thinking of what's real and what's made up in my head. And in the end, I realized that the accusations I somehow made may not be reality. I forced it to be my reality.

Eli embraces me, "Hey it's okay," he says. "It's okay to feel that way."

"I'm not- I shouldn't-"

"Hey. Hey." He holds my face, "It's okay because I feel that way too. When I see you smiling or laughing at some other guy, I feel so frustrated. And you can't imagine how many times I made up these non-existent scenarios inside my head."

"You...do?"

He nods, "Yeah. Once I made up this scenario where you and Ben were secretly dating and you guys were using Winnie and me as covers."

"Ben?"

He nods, "Yeah. I got it bad."

"Eli-"

"Ben. Seth - obviously. Everyone you've ever made eye contact with." He ran his thumb across my wet cheek, "And I keep telling myself," he says softly, "She's not like that. You can trust her. Because she's faithful. She got a good heart. And someone with a good heart would never...never do something like that."

I shake my head, "I don't have a good heart."

He smiles, "Then, it's a good thing you have mine."

I was trying to be serious, I really did but with his cheesy comment, I couldn't help but burst out into laughter. I slap his chest, "No one wants your heart."

"And why not?"

"Your heart can't handle me." And all the baggage I carry.

"Well, you don't know until you put a foot on the heavy heart but full of love express. Choo. Choo."

I exhale softly, "Why are you so sweet?"

"I'm a product."

"A product?"

"Filled with 99.99% percent sweetness."

"And the .01%?"

"You saw it a few days ago." He smiles, "But 99.99% is a passing grade so they put me on the shelf and well, you grab me."

"Did I really?"

"Purchase me."

"I don't know about that."

"And now you're going to have to use this jar of sweetness until there's nothing left but-"

"-an angry old grouch?"

He smiles, "Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Only in your ears."

"Well, anything that has you in it sounds good in my ears."