Until Death Do Us Part

Twenty-Six

~Lover of Mine~
5 Seconds of Summer

"All my regrets and things that you can't forget,
light them all up. Kiss them goodbye."

The cold feeling beside me as I woke in my bed completely alone made my muscles shiver against my bones. That ache in my chest from last night reopened as I regained consciousness. I was still unsure as to what to believe, but I came to a conclusion before I fell asleep. I would continue this mission while trying to heal my insecurities, and if Tom slept with Rhea, I would kill them both.

I turned over under my comforter, letting the silk sheets run over my body. I would have to go back to my old habits, warming myself up in my bed. The smell of coffee and some sort of breakfast filled the air, and my stomach rumbled with both physical and emotional hunger.

I would have to face him again at some point, and there was no time like the present. I brushed out my hair before walking downstairs and into the large kitchen. The coffee pot was on and there was already a steaming plate of eggs, sausage, and toast on the counter. Tom's back was faced to me as he continued to cook at the stove.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and be the bigger person. I walked toward the coffee pot and grabbed a mug. "Morning," I said as I poured some into my cup. His eyes met mine with surprise, as if I had been mute for years.

He shook his head slightly, then gave a small smile. "Morning."

I continued towards the counter, trying to ignore the space between us. He felt like a stranger to me, and that hurt more than I thought it would because he had never felt like a stranger. Even though we were forced into this marriage, from our first meeting I had felt a connection to him, like all of it was for a reason. Now, there was such a noticeable disconnect that my heart felt as if it was sinking under the pressure of the distance.

"Thanks for breakfast," I said as I grabbed a fork-full.

"Of course," he said, seemingly more chipper now that I was speaking. Maybe he took that as a sign of me coming around. But, I was stubborn. I could probably forgive him right now and go back to how things were, but I didn't want to. I wanted him to regret ever hurting me.

"Any itinerary for spying today?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. Tom turned around, his own finished plate in his hands.

"I think we have training today. Our parents want us to be more familiar with quieter forms of murder," he replied with a shrug, pulling a knife from his belt and putting it on the table. I took another bite, nodding my head.

More silence filled the air, making my nerves quiver with the awkward distance between us. Not even twenty-four hours ago we were cuddled on the bed, talking about how incredibly lucky we were. I dropped my eyes, trying to forget those memories and make peace with what life was now.

I actually thanked our parents for giving us a physical distraction. I could punch things and shoot at things and stab things to take my mind off, well, everything.

The rest of breakfast was quiet. Since he made the food, I washed the dishes, and then I headed straight for my room to change. I got into a sports bra and leggings, attaching my pistol and knives to a belt. Then, I pounded down the stairs and rushed outside, warming up my muscles and stretching as I waited for Tom to set up our dummies and targets.

"I don't know if I trust you with those weapons," he said, his voice taking on his usual joking and teasing tone. I shot him a glare, which by the shock in his eyes, wasn't what he was expecting.

"If you think you can just joke your way out of this one, you're terribly wrong," I said through gritted teeth, taking out one of my knives and slashing at the air.

"Y/n. I know that. I just want you to talk to me, for us to talk about this. But I won't force you to listen to me, so I'm waiting on you. Joking is the only way I can feel somewhat normal," he answered.

I laughed, running a hand over my head. "Normal? You get to feel normal? I was the one who was cheated on, Tom!"

"I didn't cheat on you! I told you why I did what I did!" he challenged, his eyes narrowed with a fire sparking in them.

My grip tightened on the knife. "No one should have to watch their husband kissing another woman. No one should watch their partner be with someone else," I said, starting off angry, but my voice faded towards the end.

Tom's eyes softened. He kept his distance from me, but he let his posture slouch, making himself vulnerable to me. "Y/n?" That was all he could say. It was an invitation, open arms without me having to climb into them.

"You obviously already know. What's the point in talking about it?" I demanded, trying to turn away from his intense gaze, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me.

"Who was it?" he asked, his voice ferocious and angry, the words spitting through clenched teeth. When I didn't answer, he started to pace, his energy piling up. "Who cheated on you, Y/n?"

Tears stung at my eyes, but I refused to let them show. "It doesn't matter who."

"I'm not going to let another man influence our marriage." Tom put his hands in his pockets, but he brought them back out right after, fidgeting as he walked back and forth across the concrete.

"You let another woman," I said, but my voice was weak. He hadn't. He was trying to get information, I saw him acting, didn't give him time to explain, and then when he did explain, I was too stubborn to even consider it as true.

I let out a long sigh, and when I saw Tom stand still, eyes focused, listening, I decided to open up another crack in my heart. "I hate feeling out of control, like I can't have a handle on a situation. I was brought up that way, but it wasn't always as bad as it is now because when you find your boyfriend not only with another woman, but in your own bed, you have no control left. I had to watch, and I was powerless to stop it. No matter how hard I cried and screamed, he didn't even apologize. All he said was that I was too closed off, too secretive to the point that I wasn't lovable.

"He was the last serious boyfriend I had because why put yourself through that heartache twice? After that, I took control. I was the one that left in the middle of the night, I was the one that ghosted, I was the one that disappeared." I dropped the knife I was holding so tightly, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold all of my pieces together.

I didn't cry, and I didn't wait for Tom to wrap me up in his arms and make everything feel fine. He didn't move because he could tell I didn't want to be touched. All he did was sit on the concrete and look up at me.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. No one should have to go through that, and I'm even more sorry that you thought I would do the same thing to you. I would never-"

A loud bang echoed through the air, sending vibrations to shake my bones. With horror stricken eyes, I watched as Tom clutched his side, his hand coming back red.

~ ~ ~

Is there some progress being made? Will what just happened bring you to the point of forgiveness? Can you trust Tom, or is your past going to control you?

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

I'll catch y'all in the next one <3

~Aidan