❝ We must be prepared to sacrifice the few to save the many that will come after us. ❞
[book 2]
The Grey Bloods may have dwindled in number, but the creatures still gnaw at Muovea, threatening the small measure of peace that was won when the Grand D...
Looking towards the rest of their group of scholars and soldiers, Alicia settles on a decision. Another one that she'll have to learn to live with. "I'll come with you," she tells Adrian, resolve settling within her like hardening steel.
"Come with me?" He frowns at her, clearly confused why she would want to go back to the capital after escaping it twice. She doesn't fault his confusion.
"I'm more useless than you out here," she tells him, rubbing her thigh above her injured knee. "Besides, I think it's time I had a conversation with Ma." Forcing those words past her lips makes her feel ill, but seeing Adrian's eyes brighten makes it so much worse. He wants her to reconcile with Nathalia, like that could ever be a possibility after the life that woman forced Alicia to endure.
The words work though when Adrian agrees to travel with her to the capital.
Now all that she has left to do is collect provisions and lie to everyone here, including the man that holds her heart.
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"When I asked Adrian why he needed two horses," someone says behind her as Alicia wraps a loaf of bread in cloth, her hands still at the deep drawl she knows too well, "he claimed that the second horse was for you."
Closing her eyes for a heartbeat, Alicia can't bring herself to face him, face the judgement in his eyes. She's weak, but this unhealed wound within her is killing her, bleeding her slowly. She opens her eyes and prepares herself to face him, knowing she needs whatever strength she can find within herself. "I made a choice," she says, her voice firm as she turns to him.
"To leave?" he snaps at her and Alicia flinches, unused to seeing this side of him, especially these past few months.
Usually they're on the same page, moving together like the flow of a river, in tune with their choices, but Alicia is walking a path he can't follow. A path she doesn't want him to follow.
"It's for the best. Injured like I am, I'm useless. I'll be better off in the capital."
He strides towards her and Alicia takes a step back as he nears. That small action—defensive and scared as it is—makes him pause before he comes within reaching distance of her. Oliver looks at her like he doesn't recognise her.
She's sure if she had a mirror, she wouldn't recognise herself either.
Then he reaches over and grabs her pack, peering into it. "This isn't enough supplies to get you all the way to the capital."
"Adrian is bringing more," she hastens to reply.
"No, he's not. He's ready to leave."
Lie. She has to lie because telling the truth will hurt him more.
Guilt and regret weigh on her shoulders for the pain she'll cause the man she loves with everything inside of her. But she has a task to complete. She can't keep hiding, can't keep ignoring her failures. She has a lot to make up for, a lot of sins that need answering, and she won't drag Oliver down that path with her. She'd rather die than force him into the Reaper's Den alongside her.
