The Grey Blood #2

Forging a Path

Alicia doesn't go after him, fighting against the way her heart urges her to. He needs to come to his own understanding of the situation and she won't dictate his thoughts. If he wants to hate her for what she did, then she'll accept that. Alicia deserves his hate, just like she deserves this guilt.

Wiping away the tears that soak her lashes, Alicia shoves the last of her clothes into her pack before she struggles to her feet, intent on getting the provisions she needs for the journey and not encountering anyone.

Her plan is foiled the moment she steps out of her tent.

With her head down, all she sees are mud-splattered boots, the leather of a fine make but worn and abused. Then her gaze flicks up to the man that's a full head taller than her and everything within her stills as she comes face to face with the brother that shattered her heart.

"Licia."

Hearing her name from his lips makes her want to sob. The last time he spoke to her, he was telling her that their father died because of her, hurling hatred towards her like he hadn't helped raise her.

And after that... Alicia closes her eyes as she remembers the address she gave him, hoping he would come talk to her. Instead he gave that address to the grand duke and she was tortured. And Kieran...

She's so tired of crying. She's tired of the burn in the back of her throat. Tired of being hurt by those she loves and hurting them in return. She's just... tired.

"Adrian," she says, blinking her eyes open, too exhausted to utter anything more.

"Are you alright?" he asks and her hands clench around the strap of her pack over her shoulder. Where was his concern in the capital?

"Yes," she tells him.

He nods.

Silence stretches between them, uncomfortable and heavy.

Alicia knows he doesn't deserve her forgiveness, but as she finally dares to look at him, her breath lodges in her throat. He's more gaunt than she remembers him, hollow and tired, just like she is. His eyes are hers. His eyes are Kieran's. His eyes are their pa's. They remind her of everything she lost and everything they broke. They remind her of everything she did for her family and now look what's left of it.

"Why are you here, Adrian?" she asks, purposefully avoiding his nickname. It'll only help to remind her of everything she's lost.

"I..." The words fail him. He looks around at their landscape, the bustle of life as people prepare for travel again a distant thing from her tent, before his eyes settle back on Alicia. "I was wrong. Everything I did was wrong." He presses his lips together as tears splash against his cheeks. "And Kieran is dead because of me. I don't want your forgiveness, I can't even forgive myself."

Alicia lowers her head. She knows the feeling too well. "You were right about one thing, Adrian. Our father is dead because of me. I was trying to reignite a rebellion and find the truth, and Pa paid the price trying to protect me." She spares him a glance. "So, I understand. We broke our family, Addy, and I guess we have to live with that."

Adrian draws in a breath and nods, pain etched into his tan features and she's sure it's etched into hers too. "I'm going back to the capital. Oliver has a job for me. I just wanted to see if you were safe."

Like kindling bursting into flame, an idea forms within Alicia and she doesn't waste a moment to leap upon it. "The capital? To speak with Yeong Rhee?"

Adrian pats the satchel against his hip. "I'm not much help out here. Oliver has enough soldiers. But I can do this."