A Wrong Turn Of Events [The Fault In Our Stars]

Underground assholes

Me and seven were inspecting places where the next person glitches out, or you could say in. Klee was left in the care of atsushi which he seemed quite scared about but eventually agreed. Currently, we were walking around the forest on the outskirts of the city. "So have you figured it out yet? About this 'devildom' I mean" I shrugged "I did think about it and the most I could piece together was devildom is hell"  I looked around and found a patch of grass that was flatter than the rest like dazai's ass. "Hey, that looks like someone or something was sitting there for a long time" I kneeled next to the patch and spotted a single hair. "Looks like we got ourselves a yoosung" Seven muttered. I ignored the urge to roll my eyes. "Hey! You two!" A man, quite tall, came marching towards us. 'He is blonde'
" Which city is this?" He questioned pointing at us, his green eyes narrowed at seven as he turned his gaze to me and his eyebrows knitted together further. We were both looking at this man who was most definitely the one who stole away every kid's height. I'm talking like a 6'9 dude. "Are you going to answer me or not?!" He exclaimed a vein popping in his head. "Ok calm down blondie. We are in Yokohama, Japan."
I squinted. Why tf he look so damn familiar. He squinted back at me "what?" I blinked before I blurted "you're....satan, aren't you? One of the princes " He blinked before his hand wrapped around my throat and lifted me off the ground. Satan's eyebrows were knitted together as he glared up at me with a snarl. Seven stepped forward but stopped when satan gave him a threatening glare while tightening his grip around my neck. "How do you know that?"
Motherfucker
"Mammon sold your information to me! For 8000 Grimm!" I screamed. An irk mark appeared on his forehead, "that fucking bastard" He let me go. Seven leaned to me "he sounds British" I chuckle "but he lives in hell" 
We talked to satan and told him about the glitch situation. He looked gobsmacked but believed us because what other option does he have, after I recited his birth story word for word he very aggressively pinned me to the wall.

"I get it! Stop it human, I'm warning you"
"Ok daddy"
And he lost to me. So here we are in agatha's base with Klee.
"If I show up with the both of them tomorrow dazai will definitely get it out of me" I groaned. Seven nodded "and it's going to be a hell lot of easy for him to do it because he just so happens to be on her husbandos list." He sighed. Agatha looked agitated then she let out a sigh brushing her hair back "I suppose I have no choice, they can stay here till we figure out more"

-👁👄👁 THE NEXXXXXT DAY💅-
"Hey, where's dazai?" I asked turning to kunikeda. "He is on a expedition"
..wait a damn minute. Chu-chu and dazai are having their gay moment right now.
I immediately got up from my seat and grabbed my cellphone before excusing myself.

-at the port mafia HQ-

"We've known each other for a long time..i'm familiar with your moves, habits and pacings." Dazai spoke as he dusted himself off. Chuuya's agitated expression clearly gave out the frustration he was feeling for the brunette before him. With his fist out he launched forward making the brunette's eyes widen.

"Then I bet you predicted this!" The punch landed straight into dazai's abdomen, making the tall man fall back.
Chuuya pulled out a knife from his coat and pressed the cool metal blade right onto dazai's neck.
"I'd like to say something heartwarming but look where you ended up. Guess geniuses even end up lower then average eh?

Youngest executive in the mafia's history?"

Chuuya smirked, pressing the knife into his skin, making small drops of blood roll down make the brown haired man wince slightly.

"Guess you've been abandoned by lady luck. Such a shame you got caught by me the very day I got back"

Dazai smirked making the orange haired male confused.
"Hey! What's so fun-?!"
The sound of a cellphone ringing resounded loudly in the dark chamber.

"Pick my phone"
Dazai looked at chuuya. Chuuya, even more confused asks
"Why?"
"Are you really that scared of a  call that you have to question 'why' ? Aah and I thought my ex- partner was getting better" dazai faked a sigh. Chuuya smacked him across the face.
"Shut the fuck up!"
Dazai laughed "awww is the executive scared?"
Chuuya reached into dazai's pocket immediately snatching his phone, looking at the caller id.

"The real slim shady?" Chuuya raised an eyebrow before accepting the call.

"Konnichiwa motherfucker"

It was like chuuya's soul was sucked out of his body, his eyes went wide as saucers as he almost dropped the cellphone.
"Dazaiiiiii san~  I know you're there trying to wife up chuuya but it's not going to work" Chuuya choked on air as his face went scarlet
"W-what the fuck!?" He yelled, looking at dazai who was laughing his ass off.  "Aaah hello chu-chu! Missed me? Been so long since we last met eh"
Chuuya certainly found her cheerfulness audacious. His grip tightened on the phone.

"Ignoring me? What a shame.. Here I thought you'll gimme a chance" y/n fake sobbed.
"So back to business, chuuya I need dazai and if you don't let go of him about right now I will hack into every person's computer and send them a personally drawn soukoku fanart"
"What's souko-"
"Digital drawings of you and dazai passionately fucking each other"

The colour drained from both men's faces.
"WHAT?!"

-------------------------~~~~~~-----------

Y/n skipped back inside the office grabbing work files to take back to her apartment. She walked through the narrow alleyways humming  songs under her breath.
"Now that dazai will he released, the next thing that will happen soon is akutagawa kidnapping atsushi and having that boat scene."