whatever happened that night? ➳ makoharu

19 ➳ Only For You

**unedited**

He said this was for me. Only for me.

The memories we'd treasured were going to last in our minds for centuries, for eternity. Our lives would be endless, as long as we had each other. The friendship we cherished was never going to vanish, never going to disappear. I promised myself he would forever be a part of me and a part of my past, present, and future. I would always love him, and that was what mattered the most. He was so concentrated on us, so focused on the love, that he forgot to never fall in love with someone.

Because everything that falls, breaks.

***

"Haru! You made it!"

Alyssa wrapped her arms around me, the smell of chlorine burning my nose. The entire team was standing behind her, waiting for directions on where to go. Surprisingly, the Sports Arena was quite large with substantial rays of sunshine peering in through the glass above us. It looked quite like the Complex, but there was much more cacophony going on around us. It was awfully crowded; swimmers of all kinds poured in through the entrance.

"Yeah," I answered. "Am I late?"

"Not at all!" She exclaimed. "I'm so excited for this meet, you have no idea!" She gestured over to an area where deep blue plastic tables sat against the cerulean colored walls. A laminated sign was placed right in front of it that read "Coach Alyssa Tazuro's Team." "Put your stuff down over there, pronto!"

I walked over to our area and set my bag down, glancing up into the stands where hundreds of thousands of families were sitting. This was my first meet and evidently, the number of people here was unimaginable. Who would even think that civilians would attend a goddamn swim meet?

"It's a crowd, am I right?" Sam asked, giving me a big slap on the back. It probably left a huge red mark, because it stung like hell.

"Yeah," I replied, shakily. I was literally shaking with fear, excitement, and anxiety. The hefty tan-colored clock on the wall read 5:10 and I wanted to feel like I'd done something so horrible, so unforgettable, but nothing was happening. My legs were still and my heart was still beating at a steady pace, no signs of confusing or guilt. Why wasn't I upset? Wasn't I supposed to be at the carnival right now?

"You alright?" Sam said, sticking his head in my face. I lurched back and blinked, then nodded. There were noises behind me, perhaps it was just a family cheering for their son or daughter.

"Yeah," I answered, my voice still shaking. I didn't know what it would take for me to stop being so fucking nervous. What was going to get me to stop shaking? I clenched my fists and Sam caught glimpse of it. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly in front of my eyes.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "I know you're so nervous, but we're gonna do great things for this team and for Alyssa." It was totally obvious that he was madly in love with her considering when we were at the aquarium, he kept on edging himself near her, and she was swaying away, awkwardly. I laughed to myself and nodded, a wavering sense inside of me.

"Thanks, Sam," I replied. My head was spinning and it felt like I was going to faint so I took a seat on the nearest bench and dug my fingers into my hair, sweeping it around like I was styling it. Are they going to hate me? Are they going to forgive me? Why me? Why this? I looked up to see Alyssa and Sam talking near the pool and Sam glanced over at me, his eyes shining with concern. Alyssa started over to me and and I stood up, still uneasy on my feet.

"Haru, Sam told me you're not feeling well. Do you need to go to the infirmary? There's one inside of the arena if you'll just let Sam wa-" She stuck her hand out towards me.