You Belong To Me

Chapter 18

Shouta had begun leaving again after a while. The whole time prior, Hizashi had maybe 3 or 4 sober days. He had no idea how long he'd been there. Maybe this was Shouta's second time returning from a break?

He swore Shouta had already gone back to UA after a break at least once by now. Was that a hallucination? Or was this a second school break.

Had it really been that long..?

Hizashi's sober moments were awful, hardly lasting longer than a shower before he used whatever he could get his hands on. He knew he'd planned on trying to fix himself. It was probably months ago, now.

Shouta was right, it wasn't worth trying. Putting himself through withdrawals just to have his efforts ruined by the forced injections that happened every goddamn day. 

He wanted to forget he was here, anyway.

It was obvious that nobody was coming anymore. He gave up on fighting it a while ago, it was useless. So was the hope that he'd promised he'd never give up on. Shouta wouldn't let him overdose, death wasn't a threat anymore. Why not make his time here bearable?

Hizashi looked to the door that he'd always stared at, praying that someone would rescue him. Shouta told him so many times that he was the only one who really loved Hizashi.

Looks like he was actually right.

He let out a deep sigh, watching the smoke from his cigarette float and fade away in the air.

"I've lost completely, huh," he said to himself, crushing the finished cigarette under his shoe, flicking it across the room.

"No wonder. They all knew I was a shit hero. Nobody would look at me now and want me to save them."

He stared down at his body, all his previously perfectly fitting clothes hanging off his skin loosely.

"Nobody in the whole world... would see this as their hero..."

Hizashi allowed his mind to drift, remembering whatever he could about his old life. When he was still worthy of being the person known as Present Mic.

...

But Present Mic went through this same thing. He's been here before...

I've been here before... I was... I was still Mic in the end...

But now... It's so much worse. I can't physically recover into my old normal anymore. Every goddamn inch of me is scarred to shit.

I can't just go back and pretend like nothing happened, I can't leave this behind me.

The exit was right there. This whole time. Begging him to try it, and he couldn't. He couldn't walk his ass across the room to the stairs.

Would his only real security measure be a simple outside lock on the door? He never messed with any kind of lock or security system. He just left.

He knows that I mentally and physically can't anymore. Weakening me on purpose with everything else he's done.

Hizashi took his glasses off, hugging his knees in defeat.

Even if I did leave and report this to the authorities that are god knows where, nobody'd believe me. Some skinny twink with obvious drugs in his system over a pro hero with a perfect reputation and the respect of All Might himself.

Hell, people probably wouldn't believe that I was even myself. I don't look it.

He gave a sad laugh, fiddling with his fingers.

I wonder if I'm considered legally dead yet. Probably am. I have no ID to prove that I'm not.

Hizashi paused, staring at that damned drawer. The drawer that made him so, painfully weak.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm done. Just... until I'm strong enough to leave.

I did this once. I have to do it again. If I can escape from here... I have to try, right?

It took a while, but he finally came up with a somewhat motivating plan. He'd gradually build his strength back up as much as he could, building back some of the muscle mass he'd need to even have a chance.

Only after he felt like he'd made acceptable progress that day would he allow himself to finally take something from the drawer as a reward.

A plan that catered to both sides. Both needs.

Remembering the location of the bunker made his confidence falter. He had no idea where it was, and he knew just how far away the city was. He had no money for trains or taxis or food...

Slowly. I'll find a way.

If I even give a damn about being a hero, I have to be willing to fight for my own life.

Shouta won't be here for most of the day for a long time. I have plenty of chances.

I can do it by myself.

No matter how long it takes me to do by myself.

One step at a time.