You Belong To Me

Chapter 13

The pain woke Hizashi back up a few hours later, caused by nightmares all night that caused his body to spasm while unconscious. He was laying on the blankets again, with blood stains staining the fuzzy fabric. All of his wounds, from what he could tell, were bandaged up professionally, the blood on the blankets probably caused by him bleeding through them. He let out another cry as he stared at his blood all over his blankets, and the overwhelming searing, throbbing pains that coursed through his body whenever he moved.

He couldn't force himself to speak, no matter how badly he wanted to yell out. It wouldn't make the pain go away, anyway.

Is... this better than living?

He looked at the exit with stinging eyes.

Is that worth risking my death for?

Hizashi was currently completely free, without any kind of gag or binding. He assumed that Shouta knew he'd be in far too much pain to go far if he bothered to try leaving, anyway. He was right. He felt painfully hungry, like there was nothing in his system. Had he thrown up between blackouts? While Shouta was...

He might have. Most of it was a blur. Maybe he'd blacked out during the torture. Hizashi put a slow, shaky hand to his jaw, feeling the bandaging there and wincing. There's no way he could eat, anyway. Not when he couldn't even open his mouth.

This is only going to get worse as time goes on. He's using Nemuri's stubbornness against... me? Her? I don't even know anymore. I don't even want to think about what he'll do next, once he gets bored of this.

I don't want to think at all.

He managed to pick himself up off the ground, inching over to the drawer where Shouta had put the alcohol. He'd given up drinking not too long ago, with Nemuri and Shouta's help. Along with other things. So he could be better.

Clenching the bottle in his fist, he frowned down at it, before giving up. He closed his eyes and downed it, then another, before throwing the glasses to the floor and crumpling down against the wall in defeat, feeling the whiskey burn his throat all the way down, letting loud sobs escape his throat as his mind screamed at him to stop.

I can't...
Go back to this...

What am I doing...

I have to take the pain away. I have to.

He clenched his hair in his fists, then pulled it over his eyes as he slowly sank into his knees, shaking, already starting to feel the warm start to travel to his whole body, bringing back a sense of his own, desperate comfort.

A loud slam made him flinch again, slowly looking up to meet Shouta's eyes as he came in. He sank down lower, trying to appear as small as he could despite his tall, lanky frame. Just in case Shouta was mad at him again.

Shouta studied him curiously, the seemingly permanent anger leaving for a slight moment as he looked at the empty bottles that were in his vicinity, making a tch sound in acknowledgement to it.

Was this funny to him? Was he laughing? Or was he disappointed? Why wouldn't he be? The alcohol was probably for Shouta, not Hizashi. It didn't matter, anyway. The deed was done. The pain was already beginning to fade, just a little bit.

He was still angry. Hizashi could tell.

"Nemuri?" he forced out, using his arm to hoist himself up by holding onto the drawer, falling to his knees when his grip on the wood slipped.

"Yep. God, I want to kill that whore. I can't though, I'd be far too clear as a suspect. It'd be obvious I took you then, and they'd come to take you. So we'll... both just have to suffer."