murky waters | carl grimes¹

22. nowhere land

"finally"

When we took off we had no idea where we were going, we just needed to get away from the burning Terminus. For once I didn't mind walking because I knew that where ever I went next I would have Talia at my side. 

I would do anything to keep Talia by my side. I refuse to let her vanish again. 

The thought of doing anything to protect Talia used to scare me but as I discovered more of this world I realized that's just what I had to do. I watch Rick do it over and over again to protect Carl and Judith, even to protect his group. I had to step up, I needed to be able to do what it took to make sure Talia was safe. 

I would do more to make sure the group was safe as well. Tyreese and Carol kept Talia safe when I couldn't, I owed them everything. Rick and Michonne kept Carl and me safe, I owed them. Everyone's efforts at Terminus, minus Eugene, kept us safe. I owed all of them. 

We traveled around five miles before we took a break, Judith needed fed and Talia was started to get tired. I sat on the leafy hill by the tracks and Talia laid her head on my lap. "Sleep," I told her, she hummed in response and slowly drifted off. 

While she slept I ran my fingers through her hair and started to untangle the knots. I was gentle, I didn't want her to wake up, she needed all the rest she could get right now. As I worked on her hair, Carol came over to me, she took a seat next to us and watched as I struggled with a chunk of her hair. 

"I wanted to tell you," Carol started she was careful with her words, "no one else knows but Tyreese and Talia," she looked away from me, her gaze landed on the group who gathered a few feet away. "We had Lizzie and Mika with us for awhile," Carol started, her voice was low so that no one would overhear us. 

I let out a short breath of air that made the sound "oh" as it clicked in my head. Lizzie and Mika weren't with us anymore. Mika and Talia were close friends, I couldn't imagine the pain Talia has been through since losing her. "Lizzie wanted to show us how she understood the walkers," Carol looked down at Talia who was fast asleep. "While Tyreese and I went out to get water we left the girls with Judith and when we returned," she had to stop to think about what she was going to say next. 

This is what Talia was trying to tell me at the prison, Lizzie was feeding the walkers at the fence, she was naming them, crying over their dead bodies. Talia even told me Lizzie claimed to hate me because I was always down there killing them on the fences. There was something wrong with Lizzie. "Lizzie had killed Mika to show us that she would be the same even after she turned," Carol finally let out, "when we got back, Lizzie had Talia pinned to the ground, she almost.. If Talia hadn't screamed for us we would have never gotten back in time," she lifted her hand and let it rest on Talia's back. 

"But you got back in time," I smiled looking at Carol, they have saved Talia more than I could count and I was so thankful for that. "You did what you had to do," I knew what would happen next, Lizzie wasn't here. She was dangerous and now she was gone. 

Carol nodded, "Tyreese and I decided it was too risky to have her traveling with Judith and Talia, so..." she let the story drop, she didn't need to explain herself to me. I knew how much those girls meant to her back at the prison, she was only doing what she needed to do. 

"Why haven't you told Rick?" I asked, I looked over to see Rick and Carl feeding Judith on the other side of the tracks. Keeping things from Rick was hard to do now, he was the leader again and we had to trust him. 

"We don't need to, we want to forget about it but I knew I needed to tell you. Talia has been worked up about it. She understands what happened but she's confused. Told me she was mad she didn't stop Lizzie from hurting Mika," Carol explained, "we don't talk about it anymore, none of us want to but you needed to know."