"You have a big name. People talk." Will said then looked at the papers on his desk.

"We got a new order. Adam Politzer. Apparently he's a really dangerous guy who escaped from a prison. His last spotting was in Seattle a couple days ago." He said then looked up at me.

"Should be an easy target if we can find him." He said then slid the paper towards me.

"Who put the order in?" I asked and looked at the paper, studying the guys face.

"The governor. He's also tasked the police for this job, so he's gotta be pretty dangerous." He said as I nodded.

"Statewide?" I asked then put the paper down. "Yes, sir." He said as I nodded.

"Any other gangs involved that we know of?" I ask he nodded. "Adam was a part of a gang up in Mount Vernon. They tried to expose Quill a couple years ago but got shut down because of incompetence." He said causing me to chuckle.

"Great. Since there are gangs and police involved, we have to be extra careful. I don't like that the Governor involved both parties but we'll make it work." I said with a sigh.

"Any other things?" I asked as he nodded. "We got a hit list from Mark Walters. He's loaded and had some people back out on a couple deals. He doesn't like to lose money, so he wants all of the people who wronged him dead." Will explained.

"Sounds fun. We'll start there." I said with a nod. "Perfect. That's all we got for the weekend, Neil is working on the drug routes for the week if you want to look those over." He said as I shook my head.

"I don't care about that shit." I said then reached for a cigarette, forgetting I had run out.

"I'll be in the gym if you need me." I said then turned to leave the room.

I was excited about us having some new jobs but it felt so monotonous. I wanted a real challenge, something to add a little spice to my life.

I was afraid of what Sam said. I was afraid that I was losing myself.

It wouldn't have necessarily been a shocking thing to have lost myself.

I was surrounded by new people in a new place doing unthinkable things.

I went from being carefree and in love to meticulous and bitter.

Of course I was going to somewhat lose myself after such a large change.

Being back in LA with my friends was nice but I felt incomplete. I didn't belong there anymore because everything was so different here.

I felt like I have aged twenty times faster than anyone in LA.

It fucking sucked.

When I got to the gym I took my jacket off, throwing it to the side. I then took my shirt off, leaving me in just the sweatpants I was wearing.

I turned on some music then grabbed the boxing gloves. I wanted to get some of this rage out that was sitting in my chest.

I wasn't really sure why I was angry to begin with. Maybe I was mad that I was missing my friends.

Maybe I was mad that I liked the power more than I liked my own feelings.

Or maybe I was just an angry guy.

Either way I started punching the punching bag as if my life depended on it.

With everyone grunt I felt just a little more powerful, winding my further and punching harder.

I pictured it being someone who wronged me, or someone who deserved to get their shit rocked.

I ended up doing that for twenty minutes before it was time to move onto lifting weights.

I had to admit since moving here I have gotten stronger not only mentally but physically.

I let myself fall into a little depression when I first got here for obvious reasons but once I got over it, I snapped into a new routine.

I'd work, workout, sleep, repeat. No room for thinking or resting. When I got alone with my thoughts then I got fucked up.

I needed to be focused on literally anything otherwise I would think of her.

I would think of the girl who's heart I broke.
I didn't want to, but it needed to happen.

I could sleep peacefully at night knowing that she was with her siblings and far away from me.

I always knew there was no room for love in this world.

"Oh. I didn't know you were in here." Jeremy said, breaking my thoughts. "Yeah. Working out." I said as he nodded.

"I see that." He said then put his stuff down.

Jeremy was probably the closest thing I had to a friend here, because he was closest to my age and we had a little more history.

When everything went down, he was the one who helped me transition. He and Will took the reigns and showed me the ropes.

I obviously didn't get super close but I didn't want to beat Jeremy up for being an idiot most of the time.

"Heard you had fun in LA." Jeremy said as I nodded. "Yep." I said then finished my set.

"Also heard you shot someone." He said as I nodded. "Just in the leg. I fucked his girl and he got mad." I said with a shrug.

"I've never met someone with more confidence than you." Jeremy said as I chuckled. "Gotta be confident when you're in charge." I said as he nodded.

"That's why you're great at what you do." He said then started his set.

I didn't know if I was necessarily great at what I did. I made a lot less mistakes than I did before but I was far from perfect at this.

Sure, I made this look easy but my mind was constantly racing with ways to be better. If I stayed the same then people would eventually walk all over me.

I had to keep improving.

I had to be better.

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