Carolina Wren

Chapter 50

Wren's POV

Something possessed me when I came into Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green's office this morning.

Judging from the way Kota's looking at me, he seems pretty sure I'm flirting with danger as I slowly sway back and forth on the rolling chair in front of Mr. Blackbourne's desk. When he let me into the office a few minutes ago, he told me to make myself comfortable while we waited for the two adults to get here. So, I did. This just isn't what he'd had in mind.

Mr. Blackbourne's throne. The chair that is very clearly meant for him. I'm deliberately feigning obliviousness, like I don't know this isn't where I'm supposed to be. Sean's desk is open and waiting. That's where I'm usually directed when I come in here. Under different circumstances, that's exactly where I would have gone. A sullen, anxiety riddled part of me is conscious that this is a test for Mr. Blackbourne. It's not really a pissing match, I have no desire to be in charge. I just want to know how he's going to react.

If I'm going to be dealing with Hendricks and McCoy for them, then I can't keep being treated like I was a few weeks ago. Needling him to see if he's going to overreact to something inconsequential may not be my best bet, not when he's the one standing between me and potentially losing the kids, but if it's going to happen, I want it to be now. Not three weeks or three months from now when I've let my guard down.

The clock on the wall, the generic American public school standard, ticked, ticked, ticked rhythmically, the only sound besides the gentle whirling of the chair as I swayed back and forth, toes dragging on the ground. I used to live in fear of ending up in an office like this, with adults who knew about the kids, about our life at home. There was something about it that still left me feeling exposed and defenseless. Trusting them went against everything I've taught myself to survive.

The doorknob started to rattle and every muscle in my body clenched as my fingers curled around the edges of the seat, waiting to see what kind of fight this might become. Mr. Blackbourne pushed the door open and caught sight of me immediately. He merely blinked and moved into the small room, dropped his briefcase off by the desk, and went to stand next to Kota.

Confusion swirled as I watched him give deference to where I'd decided to sit. I had expected him to at least politely ask me to get out of his chair. He didn't even take Sean's chair. He just quietly readjusted.

Sean followed him inside, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Good morning, Flower," he said once the door was shut. He dropped into his own seat, spinning around to smile at me. "How are Dylan and the babies doing? Handling the transition to Nathan's house alright?"

It's still weird for me to casually talk about them this way. No one besides these guys have ever cared to ask. "Nothing I can't handle. The first night was rough but they seem to be taking it in stride. Dylan's taking it harder than Keegan, but he also understands what's happening."

Sincerity warmed Sean's eyes. You can't fake the way he cares for my siblings. "If you need help, just let one of us know. It's a lot for a little kid."

It's a lot for me. It's too much for them.

Dylan had wanted to stay home from school today, he begged to not have to go, but he wasn't physically ill and I couldn't afford to miss another day. Nathan and Silas were currently down at the school with him, waiting for him to be let in since I had to drop everyone off so early. The littles had been easy enough, even if Donna at the front desk had given me some attitude, but I had to be here before the elementary school opened.

It was killing me that I was having to rely on them to be there for him when he was so upset. Silas and Nathan were the two he was the most attached to but his confidence with all of them has been shaken. They're not the ones that should be working with him to figure out how to deal with his emotions over all of this. Even if it's just him pouting because he has to go to school when he doesn't want to.